


Together From Afar.

by MisterMatthew



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Background Relationships, Canon Continuation, Coming Out, Denial, Despite Not Being Alive For Them, Drama & Romance, Dustin Henderson is a Good Friend, Dustin being Dustin, Established Relationship, Friends DO lie, Friendship, God I Miss the 80s, Good Babysitter Steve Harrington, Grief/Mourning, Guilt, Hearing Voices, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, Long-Distance Relationship, Loss, Love Confessions, Moving Out, Multi, Period-Typical Homophobia, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Season/Series 03, Powerlessness, Roommates, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Hatred, Sharing a Room, Sibling Bonding, Step-Siblings Will Byers & Eleven | Jane Hopper, Trauma, Unrequited Crush, Will Byers Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-08-06
Packaged: 2020-06-26 04:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19760893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MisterMatthew/pseuds/MisterMatthew
Summary: Almost 4 months after the Starcourt incident, the memory still feels fresh.Still reeling from the disappearance and apparent death of her father, Eleven begins to spiral out of control as she navigates life in the city whilst dealing with an uncomfortable roommate in Will Byers. Feeling lost without Mike, and with her powers still missing in action, El's life flips upside-down.Meanwhile back at Hawkins, the lights are back on at the old lab, stirring the Party into a panic without their superpowered friend. And Scoops Ahoy has relocated to the center of town for the grand reopening.





	1. A House is Not a Home

****

**_Indianapolis, October ‘85_ **

El threw the curtain in the center roughly aside as it made an unpleasant screeching sound from the movement.

“Where is it?” She muttered, eyes scouring every inch of her messy bedside, “Where?”

She dropped to her knees to check under her bed. A few bundles of clothing, some hairpins but not what she was looking for. Will stopped behind her. She turned around to look at him.

“I, uh think you-” He coughed and pointed to a lump underneath her simple white sheets.

“Oh. Thank you,” She looked up and tried for a smile. He just avoided eye contact with her and looked away. Her smile diminished slightly.

Eleven wrenched the sheets off her mattress, throwing them to the side in a messy sprawl. The tall but thin device was sprawled across the soft bedding, divided into separate parts that she’d had to assemble bit by bit. She wouldn’t have minded the busywork too much. Even without her powers, it helped keep her mind focused and from wondering to the crumpled speech she kept under her pillow and all the words left unsaid to... _him_. No, she would gladly have welcomed the distraction if it wasn’t accompanied by the dreadful awkwardness between her and Will every time they were alone together. She hadn’t been entirely sure how to build it and wasn’t too proud to ask him for help. He had agreed to help but had acted stiffly about it. 

She understood why he’d be a little awkward with her. Circumstances hadn’t really allowed them to bond. Now they were being forced together into a cramped apartment, told that they had to be brother and sister. Of course, it wasn’t that simple, these things took time. They’d only lived together for just over a month, it would take longer than that for the two of them to get used to i. El had attempted to lighten the mood between them but he was so distant and uncomfortable around her and she suspected it had something to do with her relationship with Mike. 

Without exchanging any words, they’d set to work assembling the device. Will seemed to know what he was doing, which wasn’t surprising as he’d probably helped Dustin assemble the thing before she and Mike had left for...curfew. Only Dustin would give her a present after she’d practically ignored him all summer. A present he’d spent hours of work on.

_“Hey El,” Dustin said as he sat down beside her._

_“Hi,” She said, eyes flickering away from the window to look at him. She was sitting on the bed Joice had set up for her, which was barren and devoid of any sheeting as it had all been packed away into boxes._

_“Feels like I haven’t seen you much all summer,” He said, eyes taking in the barrenness of the room, “Guess you were off with Mike doing, uh...save the world stuff. Among other things.”_

_Her cheeks stained a slight red as she caught the underlying meaning behind his words, lighting up like Hopper when he’d caught them in her room. The thought made her smile wistfully at the memory._

_“Sorry,” She said and meant it._

_“Seems almost trivial now,” He smiled, not quite laughing but chuckling. “But hey, I get it. Young love,” He accentuated the love part and waggled his eyebrows at her._

_“Young love? What?” She asked, eyes giving an innocent flutter. Dustin’s eyes widened a little, giving him a deer in the headlights look._

_“You don’t...you don’t…?” He stammered. “I mean, come on… surely you…?”_

_“Well...all those soaps I used to watch back when I lived with …” Her voice shook a little, “Back when I lived with Hopper. The man and the woman in them would talk about how they loved each other.”_

_“OK, so...?” Dustin still sounded confused about what she was getting at. “Your point is?”_

_“Mike... said that he loved me” She blurted out. Her eyes turned to glance at him, to judge his reaction. “Months ago. Before Hop…” Her voice broke off and she glanced at him._

_His mouth was agape, showing his baby teeth and his eyes bulged out of their sockets like the coloured round objects at Starcourt. Max had called them “balloons”._

_“He, uh, he did? When, uh...when was this?”_

_“When we were attacked. He told Max when he thought I couldn’t hear. I was in my bedroom.” She smiled as she remembered how everyone had gone silent. “It slipped out.”_

_“OK...OK,” The curly-haired boy sounded nervous. His breathing had become rapid-paced like, if he sucked in enough air, he’d know all the secrets of the universe. And that he needed them. “Ok. So when people say that…” He gulped, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down his throat, “They mean...they mean that they….” He took in a deep breath and held it. “That they…”_

_He didn’t say anything for a long moment._

_Eleven began to get concerned. “Dustin? I was joking!”_

_“It means they want to spend the rest of their life with you!” He let it all out with one explosion of breath, his eyes wild. Embarrassment flooded his face. He cleared his throat. “Sorry.”_

_“Oh…” Eleven considered what that meant. Mike wanted to spend the rest of his life with her?_

_“I’m really not an expert on the matter,” Dustin added once he’d gotten his breath back. “Maybe ask, uh…Max or...”_

_“Suzie?” Eleven asked. Dustin choked as she exploded into giggles._

_“You’ve spent way too much time around Mike. What happened to innocent little El? The one who was obsessed with Eggos and rode backseat since she didn’t have her own bike and could snap the necks of a hundred evil scientists in an instant?”_

_Eleven’s smile faded a little at the mention of the scientists. She shook off the wave of fear that threatened her. They were gone, and they weren’t coming back. And even if they did, she’d faced monsters bigger than buildings. The smile returned to her face._

_“She met you, Dustybun.” She teased, remembering what Max had told her about what had happened over the radio with his girlfriend, who had turned out to actually be real. “She...was never the same.”_

_Dustin shook his head, “Who is it, Mike or Max who’s corrupting you like this? There’s no way sweet, innocent El would say such nasty things by her own accord.” He gave a look of mock horror and disbelief before sobering up a little._

_“How are you doing?”_

_She forced a smile on her face, “Great.”_

_“El, I know this can’t be easy on you. What with Hopper…” At the mention of his name, the room seemed to lose all its warmth. Her eyes began to well up with tears, which was just unfair. Why couldn’t she hear his name without wanting to find a quiet place to cry again? It had been three months, she should have moved on by now. The funeral was long past by now, she had her closure. But why did it still hurt so much?_

_Dustin seemed to notice how her mood had fallen and tried to change topic._

_“Anyway, I uh...brought you something.”_

_He handed a large plastic bag he’d brought with him._

_“Since you guys are going away for a while-”_

_“We’ll be back,” Eleven said quickly._

_Dustin smiled his own special smile at her, “Yeah...but before that, you’re gonna want to be able to stay in contact so you and Mike can make makeout noises over the radio...” He leant back to avoid her palm as it attempted to swat him._

_She frowned at him, “My powers aren’t working, not since Starcourt. I couldn’t project the radio-”_

_“No need,” He rummaged through the back, “Allow me to introduce you to my masterpiece…’s younger sister. I couldn’t do Cerebro dirty like that.” He rummaged around the bag some more, peeling back the outer layer of plastic. “Eleven, my dear friend we found one night in the woods… allow me to introduce you to...The Phoenix.” With his stubby fingers, he unveiled a small satellite dish and a bundle of wiring sprawled together in a messy bundle._

_Eleven frowned at him, “Phoenix? The girl from the book with the coloured pictures that Mike was reading? He said she was like me.”_

_Dustin sighed, “Comic-book. I mean- it's complicated but yeah, she’s kinda like you the way she could move things with her mind. But she got possessed by this alien entity thing and- yeah, its complicated.”_

_He cupped his hands over his mouth like he was trying to be secretive._

_“Wanna know something funny? Mike had a crush on her when he was younger.” She sucked in a heavy breath at that. “Now he’s dating you, while you also have telekinesis. Funny, right? It’s like his thing- anyway, forget the name.” He turned back to the weird entanglement of wiring, hands spraying out to present his invention._

_“This...is the product of many tireless hours of work from me and...well, Mike helped.” He grinned at her, “This’ll let you contact us by walkie talkie. It’ll work kind of like an amplifier for your walkies. Not quite as advanced as Cerebro but it’ll get the job done. I hope.”_

_She hugged him suddenly. His froze up for a second, before settling his arm awkwardly around her shoulders._

_“Thank you...Dustybun,”_

_She felt him chuckle through the embrace._

_“I’m gonna let that slide. For Mike’s sake. And so Max doesn’t castrate me.”_

_They broke apart. Dustin had a big grin on his face, one she hadn’t seen all summer. She had missed him recently, even if she had been so entangled with Mike to notice it._

_“Now...go tell Mike you love him or whatever. We all know you want to.”_

_She nodded, feeling a bubble of anxiety in her stomach. As she turned to leave, Dustin called to her._

_“Actually, on second thought, wait for him to come to you. Don’t spring it on him like he’s a cornered rat. You’ll freak the poor sucker out.”_

_El nodded again, “Thank you. For everything.”_

_“I am pretty great.”_

_Eleven left before he could purr at her or something._

And now, after two weeks, they were finished.

“There,” Will breathed, leaning back to admire their handiwork. The device was set up on the windowsill, slightly pointed against the window for a better signal. 

“Phoenix.” She smiled at him. “The name.”

He glanced at her for a moment, before his eyes lit up in recognition and he chuckled a bit. “Ah, I get it. Because you have the whole move things with your mind thing.” The chuckle was short-lived as his face became uncomfortable and grim once again.

Her smile faded as well but she was determined to make the most of this moment. She opened her mouth to say

“Carrying all that was hard.” She felt silly saying it but couldn’t think of anything else to break the silence that had been weighing down on the air.

“Well, not all of us have cool mind powers to solve all our problems. Some of us have to actually work for it.”

El frowned at his reply. Had she done something wrong? Maybe it was something she’d said. He sounded like he wasn’t just talking about moving furniture.

El shrugged it off and drew out her shiny new walkie. A little note was attached with a bit of loose string. She grasped it between her fingers and held it up to her eyes to better see what it read.

_Don’t lose this thing, I sacrificed my whole monthly savings for this. My stomach won’t be thanking you. Call whenever you’re ready over there. Love you, talk soon._

_-Mike_

Eleven heart leapt as she read the last part. She wondered if she would ever grow accustomed to being told “Love yous” even in note form. It was like one of her soaps had leapt from the television and become her life. And it was even cheesier in person, but far sweeter, like a slap of chocolate that melted into deliciousness in her mouth..

She unwound the string from around the walkie and slipped the note under her pillow, next to the Boundary Speech, to reread later.

Will had taken out his walkie and wasted no time in connecting to the agreed channel. She followed suit with her own walkie, twisting the dial carefully to focus it. A slightly lisped voice rang from both radios

“Squad Beta, this is Squad Alpha, please come in.” 

Will looked confused, “Uh…”

“Really, Dustin? This again?” An annoyed female voice joined the first. Max.

“Hey, I’m getting into character her- Hey!”

“Gimme that!” There was a bit of static as Max presumably snatched the mic from Dustin.

“El? Are you there? El?” Max’s voice was insistent.

Eleven pulled the antenna up and pressed the device to her ear, “Hi.”

Max laughed, “You still manage to sound shy, even over all this static. Where the hell you guys been? We’ve been trying to get in contact with you for the past week.”

Eleven felt a little guilty. How many times had they gathered on the hill waiting for them to respond? The days were beginning to get colder and she hated that they’d been out there unnecessarily on her account.

“We had...housework.”

“ _Housework_.” She heard the redhead scoff on the other side of the line.

“I’m sorry you’ve had to wait outside-”

“Outside? El, we’re in Mike’s basement right now-”

“Walkies...don’t travel that far,” Will had chimed in. His brows had furrowed. “That’s not possible

Max was silent for a moment. El heard talking on the other end, too quiet for her to hear.

“Funny story, that.” Dustin had taken back control of the mic. “I figured this out myself. No biggy. But anyway. Byers, you remember when I couldn’t get through to Suzie at first?”

Will nodded, then realised Dustin couldn’t see it, “Yeah. I remember.” 

“My calculations were wrong. Cerebro didn’t transmit as far as I thought.” 

Eleven frowned at that. She didn’t know much about radio airwaves, but hadn’t it started working later?

“But then, suddenly, it worked. Y’know why? Because all that shit went down, with the Mind Flayer and the Russians and stuff. Yeah, you were all there.”

Eleven imagined him waving his hand dismissively at them if he were here.

“So I dunno what it was. Might have been all the paranormal stuff going on or maybe it was something the Russians did. Anyway, all transmissions to and from Hawkins are all boosted. Lets them go further and be received from further away. Pretty neat, huh?”

Will still sounded apprehensive, “So you're talking to us on walkie? In Mike’s basement?

“Yup.”

“Is Mike there?” El and Will said at the same time. They glanced at each other and she smiled. He glanced away, again without smiling. Her face fell a little. What did she have to do? How could she apologise for something she didn’t remember doing?

“Dustin, we’re so happy to see you, Dustin. How are you, Dustin? Thank you so much, Dustin, for making this possible. What would we do without you, Dustin?”

El giggled at his words.

“Thank you, Dustybun!” Came Max’s voice faintly from the background. 

“Shut it, Mad Max.”

“Is that supposed to be endearing or annoying, Dustyb-”

“Shut. Up.” Dustin sighed audibly down the line. “Mike’s sleeping. He was up all night trying to call you guys and working on his D&D campaign.”

Eleven glanced at Will to see him noticeably perk at the mention of Mike’s new project.

“-They finally answered?” A new voice spoke. Lucas sounded groggy, like he’d been in a deep sleep until very recently. “Took long enough. You guys woke me up with all your chatter. Mike’s gonna throw a fit that he didn’t get to see you. Dude practically passed out from exhaustion earlier.”

Eleven felt that same pang of guilt, now over having kept Mike up. If only they’d been faster, maybe she could have talked to him. Will too sounded eager to speak with him.

“Are you guys sleeping over at Mike’s?” Will asked. El detected a hint of jealousy in his voice. She felt a little hurt by it, even if she understood that he’d take their company over hers.

“Yeah, we were watching scary movies. The VHS store just got _The Terminator._ Remember when we pestered Steve to let us into that one but he didn’t want to risk his job for us?” Max asked Dustin. “That changed fast when it was a movie _he_ wanted to watch.”

El felt sad listening to an experience she hadn't been present for. She’d barely been allowed to leave the cabin over the past year, especially to go to crowded places like the mall. Hopper hadn’t had her birth certificate set up...now he never would.

“You two picked the worst time ever. I just told my mom I was on the way home over the phone. She’s expecting me now.” Dustin didn’t sound too disappointed by the prospect.

“Liar. You just wanna talk with your Suziepoo.” 

El laughed as Dustin made undignified noises at Max’s accusation.

“I have to go too. For real,” The redhead added, “But we’ll talk tomorrow El. If you and Mike aren’t too busy making kissy noises over the phone, that is. Night.”

“Will, El! Time’s up, it’s late. Talk to them tomorrow.” Joyce managed to yell and whisper at the same time from the other room.

“Night,” El said and shut her walkie off.

She found some striped and bulky pyjamas that Nancy had gifted her in the back of her wardrobe. After she’d brushed her teeth and clambered into bed, Joyce came in to switch out the lights. She leant in the doorway, at a perfect angle to be able to see both of them. 

“I’m sorry about this, but it’s just for now. We’ll get you both proper rooms when we can. For now, just try to get along, alright?” Joyce was looking in Will’s direction as she was speaking like she was aware of the animosity between them. With those words, she switched out the lights and closed the door, engulfing the room in darkness.

Jonathan needed his own space for all his camera and photo-rendering equipment. As a sort of apology for making her share a room, he had helped her set up a curtain to give her some sense of privacy. It effectively blocked her from Will’s side of the room, and him to hers, while also allowed them both to see the door from their beds. Still, it didn’t take away that she was being forced to roommate with a boy and one who was not fond of her company at that. It was lucky that they both enjoyed the Clash, or else things could have gotten bloody.

El turned off the plugs beside her bed then leant back into her sheets, wrapping the soft white duvets around herself and curling up like a cat. The room had gone silent, only the sounds of cars down below disrupting the quiet. Head pressed against the pillow, she stared up at the ceiling. 

The tension between them. She hated it. It was making her feel miserable, second-guessing every interaction she’d ever had with the boy. He’d been perfectly civil to her, up until she and Mike had started dating. But what was it about their relationship that offended him? She didn’t know but she wanted to find out. _Needed_ to find out. Either she cleared up whatever grievance with her that he had or it would only get worse. The two of them were going to be staying together for a long time; she didn’t want this awkwardness hanging between them forever.

“Will…?” She called out, her voice sounding a little timid even to her.

He didn’t answer.

“Will…?” She tried again, louder this time. Again, no response. There was no way he’d fallen asleep that quickly, so he was ignoring her. Why would he do that?

“Whatever I did…” She tried again, met only with silence, “I’m sorry.”

When he didn’t respond, she took the hint and turned over to face the wall. It took her a long time to stop thinking and drift into blissful sleep.

He was gone when she woke up. The window was open, letting a chilly breeze into the room that wasn’t unpleasant as it brushed along her skin and whispered through her hair. She had let it down to sleep and now she had a terrible bedhead, her brown locks twisted and messy from uneasy sleep.

Her bare feet found the planked wooden floor, so cold and different from the carpet flooring of the cabin. She missed the cabin, with its quiet comfort and solitude. The bright colours and loud roads of Indianapolis didn’t agree with her. Not like how the forest beyond the cabin’s door did, where she’d met Mike, Dustin and Lucas for the first time and where they’d spent countless evenings dozing in the shade of the trees. Times gone by.

She made her way down the hallway and into the kitchen. Jonathan was busy preparing breakfast at the stove, humming the first few notes of a song. Yellowing scrambled eggs sat in a frying pan on the stove, sizzling like they were eager to be taken from the pan and eaten. Will was sketching something out with his pencil. El sat down next to him, peering at what he was drawing over his shoulder.

“Hey!” He looked at her, his expression defensive.

“S-Sorry,” She almost squeaked, afraid that she might have offended him.

His gaze softened, of only slightly. He leant back to allow her to see what he was sketching. It was rough and incomplete, but even without colour, the swirling mass of the Mind Flayer was unmistakable.

“I, uh-, like to draw things that freak me out,” He told her, “It helps me to feel better about them.”

She nodded in understanding.

“S-sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s okay.” He offered a minuscule smile, one that she answered with a one of her own. Their smiles faded again and silence fell again. But it wasn’t quite as uncomfortable as before.

She let him have the first shower while she finished her breakfast. It still felt strange to be eating something fresh for breakfast, even after a few months of living with the Byers. Hopper used to be too lazy to make breakfast himself, so he’d get microwave stuff. He always found an excuse to get it from the supermarket near Joyce’s house. She had known better than to ask why. She smiled fondly, thinking of how’d he deny his feelings for Joyce when also simultaneously complaining about how she’d turned down dinner again.

She missed him. More than any of the words she’d learned could express. All she could describe was that searing pain in her chest every time she was reminded of him. He wasn’t perfect, but he was all she had needed. He was Hopper. Now she didn’t know what her future would look like without him in it. More so than even her powers, it felt like a part of her was missing. Like a gaping hole in her heart, where her father had been. And no coddling from Joyce could ever fill it, even if El appreciated her trying.

“Uh, Ellie, are you alright?”

Eleven wrinkled her nose at Jonathan as he spoke to her. “Ellie?”

“It’s what Nancy called you. Did...nobody else call you that?”

She shook her head. “Just El.”

“Just El. Got it.”

He nodded and went back to cleaning the dishes. He was surprisingly quiet as he worked. Hopper usually made a racket when he washed up.

“Are you eating?” She asked, eyeing the last bit of toast. 

“Oh, no. I’m going out to meet Nancy for brunch. She’s driving over from Hawkins so we can discuss colleges.”

“Oh.” She snatched the last bit of toast and stuffed both edges of it into her mouth. Jonathan gave her and the two folds of toast in her mouth a weird look

“Guess like father, like daughter, huh? Oh, I’m sorry.” He said as her face fell at the mention of Hopper.

She looked at him and tried to smile. It came off as more of a grimace.

“It’s fine.”

She stood up, handing the plate to his outstretched hand.

“Thanks. Is Joyce already gone?”

“Yeah, job hunting for the both of us. Hopefully, she’ll find something.”

“How’s Will doing in school.”

Jonathan sighed, “He’s...finding it difficult. First year of high school’s difficult for everyone. But Will...he’s finding it especially hard.”

She nodded, “Is there any way I can help?”

“Just...try talking to him. He finds it hard to find people he can really talk to and be himself. ”

“Okay.”

She left him to his dishes, venturing out into the hallway where the door to the bathroom lay open, steam passing through the doorway in thick clouds. She grabbed a towel, locking the door behind her and opening a window to further release the steam. The bathroom was plain and simple, pale white tiles combined with sand paint on the wall. She’d seen more colour in Hopper’s wardrobe.

El stepped under the shower and gasped as a single icy droplet dropped onto her neck, making her whole body shiver. She took a step back and held her hand out before switching on the water. It started icy cold, almost enough for her to retract her hand before it heated up enough for her to step under it. Only for it to turn scorching and make her hiss and step back again.

She missed her bath.

“Hello. Mike?” She whispered into the walkie. It was early and she didn’t want to wake his entire household. Will had already left to go walk to school.

“Mike?”

No response, just the crackling of static on the other end. Maybe she had it tuned to the wrong frequency. Her eyes scanned the dials, making sure everything was correct. It was early, he might just be having breakfast or-

A rustling sound came from the walkie’s speaker like someone was fumbling with the other device.

“Mike?” She said again, louder this time.

“Hello?” A voice said from the other end. It did not sound like Mike.

“Hi,” Eleven spoke into the walkie, a little nervous.

“Are you Mike’s girlfriend?” She sounded very young.

“Yes,” Had he told his family about her? Hopper had expressly told him not to but there had been that phone call, which his mother had intercepted. It might have brought some awkward questions.

“You’re his sister.” Mike had told her lots about his sister Holly. He had to babysit her a lot, it had prevented him from coming over on some nights.

“Good,” Holly said, “He is always in his room.”

El frowned at that. 

“Holly, dear, your breakfast is waiting.” Called a voice Eleven presumed to be Mrs Wheeler. She recognised her from that awkward phone call. Where Mike had lied to her about his nana.

“I’m talking to Mike’s girlfriend.”

“That’s great honey. Don’t let your porridge go cold.

The other side went dead.

El let the walkie fall to the floor, her mind racing. Holly had said Mike had been spending a lot of time in his room. Was he sick? But Max would have mentioned it if he was. Her worry began to grow as the other side remained silent. She needed to check on him, if only for the sake of her own sanity. 

Eleven set the walkie to background static. She approached her bed and tore a strip of fabric that hung from the side of her bed, tying it around her eyes. She sat in a cross-legged position and focused her attention on a mental picture of Mike, her eyes screwed shut in concentration beneath the blindfold.

Nothing.

Why had her powers not returned by now? It had been months since the Starcourt incident and she still couldn’t raise a feather with her mind. She felt a heavy weight in her stomach, when she realised that her abilities might not ever be coming back. 

What if Mike and Max and the others didn’t want to see her anymore, now that they were gone. Would they find her boring and annoying now? Had they just been putting up with her just for her powers?

“No,” She said aloud, “Friends don’t lie.”

 _But boyfriends lie, all the time_ , a part of her reminded, sounding an awful lot like Max, only without the warmth.

“No,” She said again, less sure this time. They wouldn’t do that, they were her friends. They cared about her. 

_Dustin named his gift to you The Phoenix. Like your power was the part that defines you. The part he thinks of when he thinks of you._

“No. You’re wrong. You-”

“Eleven? Who are you talking to?

_Mike’s voice._

__________________________________

**_Hawkins, October ‘85_ **

"Where are we going, Max?"

"Somewhere. Anywhere." Max stopped to look at him. "We never get to spend any alone time together, Stalker."

"Hey, we've been busy."

"Too busy for ourselves?" She turned back around to resume walking, her fiery red hair whipping around behind her.

" I mean- We did have to deal with a giant monster."

She huffed, "Yeah, but that's not anything new. Monsters, monster dogs, monster people...What's next, monster houses? With teeth protruding from the door? How about a monster car, that eats people?"

"I know, this is all crazy. It's like something a stupid TV show."

"So quit whining and follow me."

She quickened her pace, forcing her boyfriend to jog to keep up with her.

"So you lied to El just so we could go make out?"

"Hey, I can't let her have ammunition to tease me with. It's only funny when I do it."

"Or maybe you-"

"Just shut up, Stalker."

Lucas did as he was told. 

The two of them continued on through the forest. It was late, the Sun just beginning to set beneath the tree line. It cast a faint ember glow across the gaps in the trees. Soon, they’d be in complete darkness.

 _Like a horror movie_ , Lucas thought to himself, _Jason Vorhees is about to come round the corner. Good thing I brought a flashlight._

He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t know that Max had stopped until he bumped in her.

“Hey, what the hell-?”  
“Quiet!” Max hissed. She was squinting at the chain-link fence that was in front of them. Or maybe what lay beyond the fence. Hawkins Lab, the place where this mess had started.

“What it is?” He asked as he fell into step next to her. 

“Shhh.” She held a finger to her lips and pointed at the lab through the fence.

“I don’t see anyth- oh.” Lucas quieted as he spotted the bright yellow light visible in one of the windows on the top floor. Only a single light was on in the entire building but the implications...had they come back? Was it some group of teenagers or maybe the police doing some investigating? Or something far more sinister?

He glanced back at his head, who was staring intently at the building.

“Max?”

The redhead didn’t answer him, just stared straight ahead of her like she was in a trance. He snapped his fingers in front of her face.

“Max!?”

She blinked.

“Shit. Lucas, we gotta tell the others.”


	2. Iluvyou

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max and Lucas react to the discovery. After a reunion with Mike, El must face the divide between her and Will head on when Joyce sits them down to talk.

“What happened to you back there?

Max gave him a look, “Nothing.”

“But you just zoned out-”

“Nothing happened.”

“Max-”

“Just drop it, Lucas.” She snapped. His brows shot up at her outburst. What had gotten her so riled up? She wasn’t the only one to have bad experiences with that lab.

She must have seen that she’d hurt him a little, so she sighed, “Sorry. It’s just...El was tortured there. Physically and emotionally, for years. And if the people who did it are back, that doesn’t bode well.”

“Relax. Those scientists were either eaten by the Demogorgon or had their brains crushed. Justice, if you ask me.” 

Max still looked unconvinced. Hints of worry and concern were visible in her irises. She didn’t look like herself. She looked...scared. Not like Max at all.

“Don’t worry, okay?” He placed his hand on her shoulder, “If anything happens, I’ll protect you.”

“Oh shut up Stalker. Idiot.” Despite her words, she smiled at him. “

He grinned back, glad she knew he was joking. If she hadn’t, he’d probably be sporting a nice bruise on his face right about now.

“I could do _so_ much better than you?”

“Oh yeah? I slingshotted a pebble at a monster. Take that, uh...Ralph Macchio?”

“Good guess. He can do Karate though. He’d just ninja kick the Mind Flayer. Screw superpowers, karate is the way to go.”

They both laughed at the idea. A ridiculous image of a teenager raising himself into a kick position and promptly getting devoured flitted through Lucas’ mind and he laughed harder.

“Man, how would I even compare to him?”

“You could try shutting up and kissing me. That’d be a start.”

Lucas wasn’t the one to go against his girlfriend’s wishes. He was smart like that.

By the time they escaped the confines of the trees, it was well into the night and they had to navigate the roads using the clunky Hawkins streetlights. It would have been almost creepy for any ordinary teenagers. Lucas and Max chatted all the way back, not a care in the world.

“Isn’t this supposed to be the other way around? Aren’t you supposed to be the gentleman?” The redhead arched her eyebrows, hands on her hips as they reached his front door.

“Yeah, but my house is closer.” He shrugged. “Just makes more sense.”

“Wow, you _really_ suck at this whole boyfriend thing. This is one of those clichéd things I’d actually have liked you to have kept.”

“Night Max!” He gave her a big wave, “Unless you’d like to come in?”

“This time of night?”

“Yeah, my parents aren’t home. I’m supposed to be babysitting Erica right now but…” He shrugged.

“You’re an even worse brother than you are a boyfriend.”

“I know. So are you-”

“No, I’m not coming aside.”

Max went off in a huff, her arms crossed. She didn’t look back at him as she left.

 _Wait, she was serious about all that?_ He thought to himself, _Shit, I’m in trouble._

“Max, I thought you were joking! Max!”

She flipped him the finger and kept on walking.

“B-but, what are we gonna do about the lab? We need to do something!”

She’d gotten quite a distance away from him at that point but her thought he heard her mutter,

“Figure it out, douchebag...”

He’d have to find a way to make it up to her before she made all the nerdy boys named Lucas an endangered species. Should have just damn well walked her home.

___________________________

El snatched the walkie from the ground, 

She almost whacked herself in the head in her haste to pull it up to her ear.

“Mike?!” She shouted into the walkie.

He groaned on the other side of the connection, “Not so loud. I just woke up.”

“Michael! Who are you talking to?”

“Just Dustin, Mom!” He yelled, doing a poor job of covering the walkie so she wouldn’t hear. He let out an audible sigh and whispered back into the mic, “Could you hurry up and legally exist, so I can tell my Mom about you?”

She snorted in reply, letting herself fall down onto her sheets. 

“I missed you.”

“Yeah, me too. Sorry I wasn’t around yesterday.”

“It’s okay.”

He cleared his throat, “So what you been up to?”

“Moving furniture.”

“Ah. Your powers still a no-show?”

 _See_ , that horrible voice in her head told her, _What did I tell you?_

“Shut up…” She mumbled. The voice was beginning to get on her nerves. Why had it only begun to show up now?

“What’d you say?” Mike said, sounding a little confused.

“Nothing. Talking to myself.” She winced. Was that weird? What if he thought that was weird?

“Yeah, that little nagging voice in your head that second-guesses everything you do, right?”

“Right.” She felt reassured. It was okay then. It was normal, or at least it was something Mike had experienced.

“Ignore that voice, it’s usually wrong about most things. Or at least it is for me.”

“Yeah…” Her voice drifted off as she ran out of things to say. This didn’t happen when they were talking in person. She was sure they talked a lot. They didn’t just kiss all the time, did they?

“So...what’s the living situation over there?” 

“I have to share a room with Will.”

“You what!” He sounded like he was about to explode.

“There’s a curtain.” 

“A curtain? Really? Why don’t you have your own room?”

“There’s not enough space.”

“Oh...okay.” He seemed to calm down a little. “And I suppose Will isn’t too happy with that?”

“No.”

“How is he? Is he…?”

“Cold.” She couldn’t find a more apt way to describe him.

“He’s…” Mike seemed to be struggling to find the words, “He’s a little weird around girls. Even with Max, he kind of avoided her. Well to be fair, she’s hard to warm up to. Hell, I took a while to warm up to her. Just...don’t take it personally, he just doesn’t know how to be around the opposite sex. Remember me when I-

“Kissed me?”

“I-well, yeah.”

“You were cute. And kind.”

“And you were the first girl who’d ever looked me in the eyes and treated me like I wasn’t a piece of gum on their shoe. You looked straight at me and saw _me._ You didn’t care about all the awkward nerdiness. Still don’t.”

“I like that.” She was glad he couldn’t see her because her cheeks had become warm and had probably stained red. “Awkward nerdiness. I like you, Mike. All of you.”

“Damn it, El. I was supposed to be reassuring you.”

“Still time.”

He laughed again. It sounded even more pleasant over the com, the only part of him she could latch onto at the moment. She tried to picture him, what he was doing as he talked to her. How he was sitting, what he was wearing. How messy his hair was.

“Just do to him what you did to me.”

“Kiss?” She feigned confusion.

“No El, you-” He paused, “Where did you get a sense of humour?”

“Max.”

“Figures. First, kiss him. Then, treat him as a person and not judge him how he acts. He’s a really sweet guy when you get to know him.”

“Okay, I understand.”

“Actually, I remembered something. Remember when you, hm... _dumped my ass_?”

She broke off into giggles at his words, “You lied. Max told me that friends shouldn't lie...but _boyfriends will._ ”

“Funny girl, that Max.” His voice grew grouchy and deep like he was trying to sound adult. “She’s a bad influence on you El-”

She giggled, “You’re not?”

“I-...point taken. But anyway, Will has never liked us bringing you two into the party. Said it should be just the four of us, when me and Lucas were sitting in my basement, wallowing in our self-pity. He can’t le go of how things used to be, without girls. I can’t imagine why-”

She snorted, “Don’t blame him. We’re emotional, not logical?”

“Your never going to let that go, are you?”

“No.”

“Well, shit.”

El giggled again. Why was it only Mike that could turn her into a giggling mess? A part of her disliked it and another, stronger part relished in it. “You were saying?”

“Oh yeah. I kinda lost my cool with him when he said that. So keep in mind, you gotta convince him that you’re not stealing us away from him or something. Try to find something in common with him. Show him that you’re not-”

“Different species?” El said again, bursting into laughter at the silence that followed.

Mike was just flabbergasted f0r a moment. She imagined him sitting somewhere in his basement, with his mouth open and eyes bulging from their sockets. After almost thirty seconds, he managed to regain the brain functions to speak, “Where is all this coming from? It’s like you’re lying in wait for an opening in my words to remind me of how much I suck. Max did more damage then I realis-”

“Are you afraid?”

“Afraid? What would I be afraid of?”

“Being teased by your girlfriend. Don’t dish out what you can’t take.”

“Did Max teach you that?” Mike asked as he laughed.

“Yes.” She giggled with him.

For a moment, they just laughed together and it wasn’t like they were sitting in different rooms miles away from each other. For a moment, it was like they were on El’s bed, talking and kissing the hours away while Hopper peered in through the gap in the door.

“I miss you, El. A lot. I mean,” He sighed, “I knew it would be hard, but maybe not _this_ hard.”

Eleven sighed, “It’s sad.”

“Sad?”

“Sad that I don’t get to see you.” She felt like her whole world had unravelled. Everything she’d held dear had been taken away and given back to her slowly, through these walkie calls. Like she’d been in a hospital bed after Starcourt and her life was being drip-fed through a tube. These communications were the one thing that was keeping her sane.

“Yeah, this sucks.” He sounded so defeated. She hated to hear him like this, hated this whole situation. The worst part of it was there was no one to blame. It wasn’t Joyce’s fault she wasn’t able to cope with all the bad memories associated with Hawkins. But it was home, and it had been taken away from her. She couldn’t help but resent it.

“Look, El, I’ve gotta go. I’ve got school today.” He sighed, “I’ll see you later, OK?”

She nodded, then realised he couldn’t see her. 

“I understand.” Emotion had welled up in her voice and her eyes felt moist. This was _hard_. “Goodbye, Mike.”

“Eleven?”

“Yes?”

“I...” He cleared his throat, “I…”

She waited for him to say what he wished to say.

“Iluvyou.” He spoke far too quickly and his words were unintelligible.

“Sorry?” She asked, “I didn’t hear.”

“I...Michael Wheeler, 2nd youngest and 2nd eldest of the Wheeler household, brother of 2 sisters-”

“Mike…”

“-14 years old, basement dweller and winner of several awards in science-”

“Mike!” Eleven was getting tired of his beating around the bush

“Do confess that I...I…” He took a deep breath and spoke in a whisper “Iluvyou.”

“Too quiet. Can’t hear.” El was getting annoyed. “Mike!”

“I-”

“Michael!” The voice of Mrs Wheeler sounded very close.

“Mom-”

The line went dead.

“Mike?” El called. There was no answer. She tried again, louder this time but again, there was no response. Nothing but buzzy static, like the walkie itself was laughing in some weird language of insects.

Her head filled with questions and doubts, and above all, worry. Why wasn’t he responding? What had he been trying to say to her? Why had it taken him so long? 

“Shit.” Her eyes widened as she realised she’d done what Joyce called, “cursing”. The word felt strange on her tongue. Electric, like she was doing something she wasn’t supposed to. It was a strange feeling, she’d seen Mike and Max use it all and even some adults. Hopper had used it almost every second word after a bad day, along with another word she couldn’t recall. But Joyce chastised both her children whenever they’d use it. She’d also called them swears. But wasn’t a swear like a promise? Were they allowed or were they not?

“Bitchin.” She mumbled to herself. Was that another bad word? She almost laughed at the thought. Maybe they weren’t having a bad influence on her after all. Maybe she was a bad girl from the beginning.

Mike still didn’t return, after almost 30 seconds.

“His Mom’s taken it.” She said out loud to herself. “Taken his walkie.” 

She smiled, reassured that Mike would be back to talk to her soon. All she would have to do is wait. El crossed her legs and propped a pillow up beneath her bag, relaxing into its softness and closing her eyes. And she waited, still with an optimistic smile on her face.

Minutes passed her by, without even an ounce of static from the walkie. Her smile faded as an idea dawned on her.

 _You aren’t stupid, are you Eleven?_ The voice sounded more like Pap- No. It sounded like Dr Brenner.

 _Even you wouldn’t fail to notice,_ the voice sneered, sounding triumphant, _Isn’t it very convenient how busy everyone is?_

Lucas and Max had left at the exact same time. In fact, Max had begun to end the conversation with her after Lucas had woken up. But Max had said she was eager to talk to her. She wouldn’t do that. Friends don’t lie.

That hadn’t stopped Mike.

Max had accused Dustin of leaving to talk to his girlfriend. They hadn’t talked in several weeks but he’d rushed off. Wasn’t that the exact thing he’d accused her and Mike of doing to him after he’d been away for a month? Why would he do that, if he knew how it felt? Was he bitter about it?

_All he cares about is your power. Its all any of them care about. Even your Mike can’t stand to be around you. He even staged this elaborate performance so you wouldn’t suspect he was avoiding you. Remember before? Perhaps he’s gotten better at lying._

“No…” The voice was growing louder in her head, and El’s voice had become a quiet whisper.

_They don’t need you anymore. The monster is beaten. Or...one of them anyway. The one who caused all of this is still here._

“Not my fault...your fault.” But maybe it was. El recalled Lucas words from years ago.

_“We’ve been looking for some stupid monster. But did you ever stop to think that, maybe, she’s the monster”_

“Not my fault.” She said again but it was getting harder to believe that.

 _Maybe if you’d been stronger, you could have stopped me. Instead, people died,_ Brenner chuckled. _Barbara Holland, Bob Newby, Billy Hargrove...Chief Jim Hopper. All dead because of what you and I started. I couldn’t have done it without you, Eleven. You opened the gate._

“Shut up.” She put her hands over her ears, trying desperately to block out the words. But the words were not heard through her ears but only inside her own head.

_You have a wound Eleven, a terrible-_

“Shut up!”

El screamed, hands pressing into her temple so tightly it felt as if she was about to crush her own skull. She clenched her eyes shut.

“No, no, no, no, no-”

“El, honey? Are you okay?”

Joyce’s voice came from the other room. 

El opened her eyes. The room was exactly as she’d left it; she’d almost expected her powers to reignite and trash it. But no, they were still a no-show. She took a deep breath, held it for a long moment and let it out. Her feet found the floor, her breathing still heavy and slow. She was okay.

“El?” Joyce sounded concerned about her lack of response.

“I’m here.” She called weakly. There was a lump in her throat when she spoke. Her feet felt unsteady as she walked to the kitchen, where Joyce was busying herself.

“Did you, find anything?” She asked, her voice still sounding weak. El cleared her throat.

“I did.” Joy produces two steaming coffee mugs and sat down. She placed one on the table and nudged it in Els direction.

“There’s a supermarket with a cashier position. And a pizza delivery.” She grimaced, “Only as a last resort.”

El sat down. Joyce frowned at her.

“Honey, are you feeling alright? You look a bit pale.”

El nodded. Joyce still looked concerned, so she took a sip of her coffee, almost scalding her tongue. It was bitter and unpleasant, but she felt revitalised, if only slightly. Her gaze wandered to the window, where some rain clouds had gathered in the sky. It looked to be around late afternoon, judging from the daylight peeking through the clouds. She really had lost track of time.

“Where’s Will?”

El snapped her attention back to Joyce. “What?”

“Will? Is he here?”

El just shrugged, not having an answer,

Joyce frowned, “Where he is then? It’s not like him to wander off. Did he come back from school?” 

“I-I, don’t know.”

The woman stood up and called “Will? Are you here? Will!”

“Mom, I’m right here.”

Both of them turned to see him standing in the doorway to the apartment.

“Where have you been?” His mother demanded.

“The roof. Thinking. Drawing.”

“Well, tell someone next time. You know I worry about you.” She cleared her throat, not having to remind anyone of why. “And what about El? She was just here all by herself? Did you think to ask her to come with you?”

“I didn’t think to-” Will trailed off, glancing at El as she stood, frozen. This was going to make him like her even less, his mother pestering him to hang out with her. She tried for a smile but wasn’t disappointed when he didn’t return it. She hadn’t expected him to.

She turned her attention to the kitchen itself. It was a lot grander than the kitchen back at the cabin, but that was saying very little. Hopper was far more likely to bring home some cheap fast food than actually attempt to cook anything himself. It had been an adjustment, going from eating that to Joyce’s food, which was fresher and probably much better for her. Still, she missed being able to eat in front of the television.

“Alright, I’ve had enough of this nonsense.” Joyce stood up and crossed her arms, her expression turning stern.

“You two need to work out this...this, thing!” She waved her hands around frantically, her face looking weary.

“So you’re gonna sit here and you’re gonna _talk._ ” She had to sort of look on her face and tone of voice that told El she was not to be refused.

El glanced over at Will to see what he would do. He and his mother had engaged in some sort of battle of wills through staring at each other. Her eyes darted between them as for several moments, neither of them moved and just stared intently at each other. After almost 3 minutes, Will relented and sat down opposite her. Joyce plastered a far too sweet smile on her face and slipped out into the hallway. El heard the door lock behind her.

Will kept his eyes downcast, suddenly finding the intricate details of the table fascinating. El just kept her eyes on him, waiting for him to make eye contact. If they were going to stay here all night, it wouldn’t be on her account from lack of trying to fix things.

“Hi.” She said. It was more than a greeting. It was a request.

Finally, he dared to look up at her. His mouth remained shut though, so they just stared at each other for a while.

“I love Mike.” She began. Will’s eyes widened a fraction. It would have been almost unnoticeable if she hadn’t been looking directly at him. “We're together, and something about that, you don't like.”

Will looked like a cornered rat, eyes darting around for any way to avoid this situation. Finding none, his gaze returned to her. Suddenly, the nervousness seemed to vanish and in its place, anger. A deep-rooted anger that had been built up for months.

“No. I don’t. You and Mike...always sneaking off, leaving his real friends alone.” He practically exploded at her.

El raised an eyebrow, trying to stay clear-headed, “Real friends?”

“People he’s known for more than just a few summers. People who understand him, who’ve been there for him. Not just people with flashy powers.”

El deliberated on his words. Something seemed off with what he was saying.

“Friends don’t lie. Rule of Law,” She took a deep breath, mentally preparing herself for the confrontation. “But we’re not friends. ”

Will looked taken aback at her words, “Wh-”

“You can lie.” She looked deeply into his eyes, searching for validation to the idea that had begun to sprout in her mind, “You have to me. And to yourself. The worst lies are to yourself.”

The frown had definitively become a glare. A cold one that in any other situation would have made her nervous. But not now.

“It isn’t about leaving his friends to be with me.” 

His expression had morphed again from hostile to guarded like he had an inkling of what her suspicion of him was.

“No.” She shook her head. “We’re not the only ones who do. Dustin and Lucas, they’re occupied with their relationships. But, you...don’t care about theirs. Only me and Mike.” She tilted her head. “Why?”

“You take him away-”

“No. You feel...hurt.”

Did Will look...scared? What could he be afraid of? The expression on his face was akin to the one she’d see him wear when she’d had visions of him, trapped in the Upside Down. Like his entire world had been uprooted.

“You feel … jealous.”

A Will shook his head so rapidly, it looked like his skull had somehow begone to spasm, without any muscles.

“No. You’re wrong.”

“You feel jealous of me. You like M-”

“SHUT UP!” He pressed his hands over his ears. “JUST SHUT UP! You’re wrong. You’re-”

His hands fell down to his sides suddenly, as if their own accord. El felt the familiar feeling of lightheadedness that came whenever she used her powers. She felt blood on her lip, dripping down from her nose.

Will looked astonished, “You-you...”

“Stop.” Her voice had become less confident and intensive, become softer. She felt bad for confronting him like that. She had not only revealed that part of Will to herself, but to him as well. He clearly hadn’t been ready to confront it himself, let alone allow someone else to judge him for it. He had buried it under so many layers of denial, convinced himself he hated her for a different reason than that they loved the same person.

“Will…” She murmured. He looked up at her and she could see he was trembling. He looked pale, even worse than she had earlier. He didn’t look angry at her, just nervous and...resigned?

She dared to place her hand on top of his. Will’s fingers were cold and they twitched a little at the contact but didn’t move away.

“A year ago, I was hiding, away from everything. Hop wanted me to. To be safe.” She glanced up at him when she spoke the next few words, “But I needed...Mike. So i snuck into school. Mike was with Max and I t-thought they-.” She felt a pang of guilt as she spoke. “I hurt Max. I didn’t want to see Mike again. I felt alone, lost. So I went to find my real family. But there was nothing for me. Mum...good as dead. My sister...couldn’t help me. Then Mike was in trouble. You were all in trouble. So I came.” 

His hands were still on his ears, however, El could see that he was listening to her.

And-and,” Her voice shook, “If I hadn’t left, I could have stopped it sooner. People died and it was my fault. Because I was jealous.”

Will didn’t speak, just listened intently

El continued, “I felt the same way, only a year ago. It’s okay to be jealous sometimes. When people don’t die because of it.”

He was silent for a moment, digesting what she’d said.

“You can’t tell anyone.” He looked at her and she saw real fear in his eyes. Not simple nervousness, like she’d seen a lot from him. No, this was a boy with everything to lose, if she was to share what she had discovered that day. “No one. Especially Mike.”

“I understand.”

He stood up, still shaking.

“I’m glad I know,” She told him as he moved to leave.

He froze, his eyes wider than a deer in headlights. They were more akin to a deer who has realised what the headlights mean, through some spark of intelligence, but can do nothing to prevent itself from becoming roadkill.

“I want to know you.”

“S-sorry?”

“I want to know what it feels like...to have a b-brother,” She gulped, “What it feels like to be a sister.”

“But...you just found out-”

El shook her head. “Why would that change anything?”

“You mean...you don’t care that...that I-” His voice grew quiet as he gulped, “That I’m...gay?”

“Gay?”

Will looked at her for a long moment.“That I like boys?”

“Like them? You mean-”

“Yes.”

El was quiet a moment as she took that in.

“Of course I care.”

“Oh. So you think I’m a mons-”

“It’s important to you. So it is to me.”

“But-but… you’re supposed to recoil. To stare at me and leave the room. Not…”

“No.” She shook her head, “You’re the one who should be leaving. I...I opened the gate. What happened to you was...because of me.”

He shook his head so fast she thought’s he’d get whiplash, “No, it was those...those assholes.“ Hearing him swear was a bit of shock to her, but there was no other way to describe them. “They made you do it. It’s not your fault.”

“Yeah.” She would have liked to believe that, but no matter how the story was spun, she’d always at least be partially responsible. If she’d been stronger and hadn't just run away, a lot of people would still be alive

She tilted her head to look at him, “Why would you think I wouldn’t accept you?”

“People...say things to me. Call me names. They call me a queer and a faggot and other things. Horrible things.” His hands had clenched into fists. “People have called me those names my whole life. My dad, Troy...they make it sound like… like it makes you a freak. Makes you a monster.” He sounded close to tears.

El looked him dead in the eyes.“You’re _not_ a monster. You’re...Will the Wise. The You fight monsters. Real monsters.”

She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. To her surprise, his arms folded around her almost immediately. His face pressed into her shoulder.

“When you went missing...Dustin, Mike, Lucas…’” She smiled fondly as she remembered, “They never stopped looking for you. Even after they found the body. Your mom, she broke into the lab, found the gate to the Upside Down, just to get you back. They all believed in you, that you’d survive. If they didn’t give up on you...then you shouldn’t either.

He pulled back and gave her a small smile and it made her heart ache. It was so full of hope, but also with sadness, like he thought she was wrong but really wanted to believe she was right. What kind of world wouldn’t let him be who he was? Why did it look down upon him because he was different?  
“I guess it takes the hurt out of the word monster after you’ve seen the Upside Down.”

She smiled back, “Or… when you hear Jonathan snore.”

They laughed and it felt right like it had always been this way. Like it had always meant to feel this way.

“I’m sorry- I’ve been such an- an.” He cleared his throat.“Shithea-”

“Will!” Came a cry from behind the locked door. “No swearing!”

Will looked horrified, “Mom?! How long have you been there?

“Only a few seconds. Have you too sorted it out?” His mother called from behind the door.

He turned back to her, asking her a silent question.

“Yes,” El said, loud enough for Joyce to hear.

“Good, so I can finally make some dinner. El, honey, did you make yourself lunch this afternoon?”

“No.”

Joyce sighed, “At least you’re honest. I’ll put on an extra-sized portion. Won’t take long. You two go set the table.

Eleven followed Will to the cutlery drawer. As he was picking some knives and forks out of the drawer, she placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay? She whispered.

“I will be.” He gave her a small smile and passed her some cutlery to lay out on the table.

That was enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheerio for reading. Next chapter on the way very soon. Peace.


	3. The Hazy Cold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miles apart, Mike and El reflect on moments past and moments hopefully in the future.

El sat on her bed, feeling bored.

Cooped up indoors again. At least in the cabin, she’d had her soaps to keep her company. Live life through the perspective of two star-crossed lovers as they were pushed together by the story. Now, all she had was her imagination. She couldn’t even use her powers to spy on people.

She glanced around her part of the room. Will’s was undoubtedly spotless, though she couldn’t see for certain through the curtain. Her powers still hadn’t returned, but you wouldn’t have been able to tell. Messy heaps of clothing and other miscellaneous objects were thrown about the place like she’d tried to play telekinetic basketball using only her own personal belongings. Was it even possible for this kind of mess to occur naturally? El didn’t think so.

The sight strangely reminded her of the cabin, but not as she always remembered. Instead, it resembled what had been left of the place after Starcourt. She found herself picturing that day. Mike had followed her there. Good thing he did, after what ended up happening.

_“El? What are you doing back here?_

_She didn’t look back at him, eyes only for the collapsed planks crumbled inwards, coated in shards of glass and a strange goop she could only guess was blood. What was left of the home she and Hopper had made for themselves out of a cobwebs infested shack in the woods. Nothing but debris and bad memories._

_“It’s late and the weathers getting cold. You’ll catch a chill. It’s not summer anymore, you know.” He frowned when she didn’t respond. “El?”_

_She still didn’t answer him. It had taken almost of month of wallowing in grief and guilt for her to find the courage to come back here. Now that she was here, there was little to mourn. Home wasn't just a house, it was a sanctuary. She didn’t think she’d ever think of that place as sanctuary ever again, even if it had survived. Not when the person who had made it that way was… gone._

**“** _El?” Mike said from behind her. When she didn’t respond, he sighed and removed his jacket to wrap it around her shoulders. Only then did she notice how cold she was. Freezing, her arms were practically trembling. As his fingers brushed her arms, she finally acknowledged him._

_“Mike…” Her voice was a hoarse whisper. She turned around so they were face to face, their breath hanging between them in the cold air._

_“El, let’s get out of the cold.” He placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to steer him away._

_She refused to move. Instead, she inched herself closer to him until their noses brushed._

_“El? This isn’t really the plac-”_

_She ignored him and pressed her lips against his. His outer mouth was as cold as the climate outside but they warmed up as she deepened the kiss._

_“-mphh-” Mike gasped a little against her lips before he managed to regain his composure. His hand raised to her cheek. His fingers were impossibly warm, despite the temperature._

_She broke their liplock so she could move in a little closer to him, sharing in his body heat by pressing her nose against his in a sort-of Eskimo kiss._

_After a few seconds of staying like that, they shifted into an embrace, both laying their heads on the other’s shoulder._

_“El.” Mike smiled, shaking his head lightly “What are we doing here?”_

_She hugged him tighter and pressed herself into his shoulder. She allowed herself a moment to appreciate the warmth before she answered._

_“Being.” Her voice was slightly muffled against him, “Just to forget, for a moment.”_

_Mike didn’t answer her, but he didn’t break the contact either._

_El didn’t know how long they stayed like that. For seconds, for minutes or possibly even hours. By the ruins of her old home, in the arms of her boyfriend, El didn’t know much of anything at all. Only that she didn’t want to leave. Not this moment, not the comfort of his arms, or Hawkins itself. But that wasn’t her choice to make it, as much as she resented it._

_They’d gotten back to Mike’s house, probably more because of his input than hers. He took her inside and sat her down on the couch in his basement. He went up to get her something hot to drink. By the time he’d come back down, she’d taken all the pillows from his couch and thrown them under the table, alongside several of his blankets and sleeping bags. She didn’t know what compelled her to do it, only some sense of longing for time gone past. When she didn’t feel the emptiness and the loss and above all, the guilt in her chest._

_“El. Please...talk to me.”_

_She looked at Mike for a long moment. His features had become more hardened and angular since they’d met, but he had kept the same soft, kind eyes. She was glad of that, to have some reassurance that not everything had been lost or changed unrecognisably. Some familiar elements still remained in the world. Thought they were getting fewer by the day._

_“Mike…” She said, hoping to communicate everything she felt in that one word. The most important word to her at this very moment. The only word that mattered to her now._

_“I’m here, El. I’m”_

_She looked at him, trying to take in every inch of him before it was too late._

_“What about when you’re not?”_

_Mike looked shocked, “What do you mean?”_

_“I-” El glanced away from him, wishing she hadn’t said anything._

_“What do you mean what if I’m not? El?”_

_She wouldn’t meet his gaze._

_“El? What aren’t you telling me? Why wouldn’t I be here?”_

_“It’s not you.” She still wouldn’t look at him while she spoke. “It’s me. I won’t be here.”_

_“Why?” His voice was laced with specs of confusion that made her chest pang._

_“J-Joyce is moving...an-and taking me with her.” Tears welled up in her eyes, already sliding down past her nose before she could wipe them away. “We...we can’t...”_

_“Hey.” He held up his arms and she went willingly into them, her tears spraying down her face and onto his shirt. He held one hand up to her face, tracing her cheek with his fingers as he wiped away the tears. But despite his efforts, they continued to fall in droves._

_“That...that doesn’t change anything. Not how I feel about you.” He ran his other hand through her hair, drawing spiral patterns with his fingers. His touch soothed her and she relaxed in his arms. He lay them both down together on the makeshift of blankets and sleeping bags. It was surprisingly comfortable._

_“We’ll be okay.” He murmured to her, still stroking her hair. “There’ll be holidays. We can use walkies tp tslk. Every night, like we used to when Hopper wouldn’t let me in a mile radius of you”_

_She smiled a little as her breathing evened out slightly. She moved her head from the sanctuary of the crook of his neck to look him in the eyes._

_“Promise?”_

_“I promise.” He closed his eyes._

_She took the opportunity to stare at his features, this time from an admirer’s perspective. His face had lengthened out in the past year. He looked less like a boy, and more like a man. The idea was both frightening and comforting._

_Mike cracked one eye open and caught her staring at him. He smiled, shutting his eyes again._

_“Mike?”_

_“Yeah?” He murmured, sounding a little sleepy._

_“Can we...stay like this, for a while?”_

_He nodded, eyes still closed. “However long you need. I wasn’t planning on going anywhere.”_

_She smiled at him, even if he couldn’t see her. The cute puffs of breath escaping his nose were soothing to her as she closed her own eyes and basked in the warm feeling at the base of her stomach._

Eleven smiled at the memory. He’d taken the news far better than she had. That was Mike, always able to plan ahead. It was one of the parts she loved about him, his ability to see all the individual pieces and how they might fit together.

Her eyes wandered to the walkie sat on her bedside table, then to the clock Will had hung by the door. It was almost time.

____________________________

“Michael, am I boring you?”

 _Am I allowed to say yes?_ “No, Miss.”

He sighed as she turned her attention back to the blackboard.

 _If El was here, she’d probably make her spell out “mouthbreather” with her powers,_ he thought to himself, smiling.

“Something funny, Michael?”

 _Jesus, does she out for me or something?_ “Something between my teeth, miss.” He said, making a show of picking at his canines with his thumb.

“Well, get it out in your own time.”

Mike turned around to roll his eyes at Lucas, only to realise he wasn’t there. 

_Did he really skip to hang out with Max? Even El and I weren’t that bad. Well...ok, maybe._

Mike shrugged and went back to daydreaming.

_What would she wear? Nothing too fancy, probably something bright and kind-of embarrassing. Very El, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We could go see the Thanksgiving light show. Our first official date, so hopefully the fireworks don’t mess up like on Independence day, People were pretty mad about that._

_Carnival’s a pretty cliché place to go, but El probably doesn’t know that. Well, then again, she does watch a lot of soaps. Maybe I should ask Max for some help. Or maybe Lucas… on second thought, maybe not._

The bell rang to mark the end of the school day and still the teacher kept on talking, swiping her hands down at them as they began to rise from their seats to leave. Mike just pretended not to see her and slipped out of the back of the classroom.

_Maybe the carnival would be a bit too much for her. She’s not used to being around tons of people, especially when it would just be the two of us. Somehow I doubt I could convince her to go to some fancy restaurant and explain that they don’t actually sell Eggos. Although I’m pretty sure that one time, she was doing it to tease me. You can never be sure with her. It’s Max’s fault, I swear._

“Hey, Dustin,” Mike said as he reached the bike stands.

Dustin didn’t speak, he just held up both hand started counting off from ten with his fingers. When he reached 0, he just started counting again.

“What are you doing?”

“Counting down how long you’ll last.”

“Last?”

“Before you mention Suzie.”

“Oh yeah, Dustin, by the way… Suzie.”

Dustin pursed his lip for a moment, but then he just shrugged and got on his bike, “At least you’re not calling me Dustybun.”

“Yeah, Lucas and Max got you covered. Good thing I’m a _good_ friend.”

“El called me it as well.”

Mike’s eyebrows shot up, “Yeah but she...well, I-” He hesitated as he got on his bike. “Uh...she’s El. She’s allowed to do that shit right? I mean, she’s El-”

“Way to keep your dignity, Mike. Doesn’t matter if it’s El, it’s damn annoying.”

“But she like...recently developed a sense of humour and we need to, uh, nurture it, dude.”

“Not at the expense of myself and my relationship. _Dude_.”

“I- fair enough, I guess.” He glanced around, “So, uh, where’s Lucas?”

They both started to cycle.

“Man, you were really out of it, weren’t you? He and Max didn’t come in today.”

“Oh. Oops, “Mike scratched the back of his neck, “I knew that.”

“Mike.” Dustin stopped himself with his legs, “You’re acting weird. Are you sure El’s not messing with your head with her _mind powers_?”

“Not funny. I guess I’m just…” He paused for a second. “How do you deal with it? The whole long distance thing?”

“Lot of pillow kissing. Maybe a few pictures taped on to plushies.”

“Wow. Christ, I am not doing that.”

“The shame and loss of self-respect is worth it. You’ll know what I mean.”

“I really don’t want to to know what you mean. Or make out with my pillow.”

“Well, don’t go around calling yourself a real man without indulging in a good smooch with your bedware.”

“I’d honestly rather be counted a woman.

They both laughed and talked all the way to Mike’s house. It had been ages since it was just the two of them.

“Ready to talk to your precious El? Maybe you can both just imagine the kissing?”

“Hypocritical mouthbreather,” Mike grumbled under his breath.

Dustin made a big show of breathing loudly through his mouth.

“Your teeth aren’t the only things that need to mature.”

“I am very mature, Mike. Clearly the reasonable one of the group.”

“Yeah, choosing Never Ending Story for your relationship song. Reasonable.”

“Taste is subjective.”

“Yeah, but if your taste makes my ears bleed, then that tells you something.”

“Hey!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, mostly fluff. I just wanted a Mileven scene, bonus points for exploring how El broke the news to Mike. I tip my hat off to you, for reading this work. Thank you very much and I'll have the next proper chapter soon, hopefully tomorrow. Peace.


	4. Suspicious Activity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As El receives some emotional news, Dustin and Mike investigate Lucas' claims, enlisting the help of the most capable ice cream scoopers in Hawkins.

“This is Squad Beta Wizards, reporting in, over,” Will said into the walkie.

“This is Toothy of Squad Alpha- Hey, since when are you allowed to change names?...over.”

“Knock it off, Dustin.” 

“Hey, that’s Toothy to you,”

“El, Will? Are you guys there?” Mike interrupted both of them.

“Affirmative, over,” They both said in unison.

“Oh? Is that… friendliness I detect?” Mike asked.

“No, it’s just an extreme form of rudeness, it just sounds friendly to the untrained ear,” Dustin added, “Trust me, my experience is vast in the matter.”

Mike ignored him, “So I take it you guys...bonded?”

“Yes.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Finally, ugh.” Dustin sighed, “The last call was  _ really _ awkward and I’d hate it to be like that...all the time.”

“So what broke the ice?" Mike asked. He tried to sound casual but El could hear the excitement in his voice.

“Common interests.” El piped up, sharing an amused glance with Will.

“Well, that’s great. Now everyone’s friends, right? We can be like a united party.” Mike clapped his hands together, creating an echo through the walkie.

“Hang on. Will and Max still need to hang out sometime. Maybe Byers can steal her away from Sinclair.” Dustin said, somehow making his voice sound like a smirk.

El and Will exchanged another glance. It felt sort of nice, to have someone to react to all the silly things the other boys would say. It's like they had their own secret, silent language that only the two of them understood.

“Doubtful,” El said, knowing what she did.

The four of them continued to chat for a while until Lucas arrived.

“Uh, Mike, Dustin, could we talk for a minute. Alone?” He sounded further away from the walkie.

“Why not just talk here? It’s just Will and El.” Mike protested

“Just do it.”

“Fine.” Mike grumbled, “See you guys in a sec.”

El frowned and looked back at Will, who wore a similar expression. What was that about? And why couldn’t they share it in front of them?

After a few moments, Mike and Dustin returned.

“Guys, what is it?” Will asked.

“Nothing, Lucas just… pissed off his girlfriend. He’s a bit embarrassed.”

El frowned, “Mike, friends don’t lie.”

“No, they don’t. They also have faith in each other. So have faith that I’m telling the truth, would you? I promise, Lucas just pissed of Max. You know how she gets.”

She sighed, “Okay.”

“Bit of trust here. Its what relationships are supposed to be built on.” His voice was filled with annoyance that sounded weirdly forced.

“Okay.” El said again. She shouldn’t have leapt to that conclusion. He was right, she needed to trust him. “Sorry.”

________________________________________

“Are you sure about this?” Mike asked him, probably for the 11th time.

Lucas shot him an irritated look. “Yes, of course. Would you stop asking that?”

“Better be. If I lied to my girlfriend nothing-”

“Why didn’t you just tell her the truth?”

Mike scowled at him. “Oh, you’re one to talk. Besides, I don’t want to worry her. She doesn’t need the worry if this turns out to be nothing.”

Lucas considered this, then nodded. “OK, then. Fair enough”

“You two are really shitty boyfriends, you know that?” Dustin said from in front of them.

“Shut up.” Lucas grumbled, “You and your girlfriend sang a song when the freaking world was ending!”

“I told you; she wouldn’t have given me the code otherwis-”

“Yeah, yeah. So where are we going?”

Mike rejoined the conversation, “Yeah. where Dustin? Since you seem so sure.”

“To go get some ice cream.”

They rode their bikes to the center of town. Many of the businesses had started back up after the closure of Starcourt and some had even relocated from the mall to fit the demand. One of these such businesses was the ever-popular Scoops Ahoy. They even had some of the same employees, bar one newcomer.

“Mike!”

Never, in all his days living on this good Earth, would Michael Wheeler ever have suspected he would see his sister dressed in a cheap sailor’s outfit serving out ice cream. Especially side by side with Steve Harrington.

“Nancy? What are you-” Mike couldn’t process the situation enough to finish his sentence. “I thought you-”

His sister grimaced at him, “This is just an on-the-side thing. Until I find something more...real.”

“Are you suggesting being given the luxury and privellage of serving ice cream to snotty-nosed teenagers isn't the most fulfilling job possible for a young adult like yourself?” Mike recognised Steve’s hair before he actually recognised...him. What crossed his mind wasn’t “Oh, it’s Steve,” but rather “Oh, it’s Steve’s hair.”

Nancy smiled.“Of course not.”

“Where’s Robin?” Dustin asked, looking a little crestfallen.

“Oh, she’s working at the arcade now. But not me. Nope. Guess I wasn’t enough of a nerd. Too cool for them. Well, can’t say I’m disappointed. Screw them. I’m happy working right-” Steve slammed his hands down on the counter “-Here! Anyway, what can I do for you little shitheads?” 

“Well, I’d like a banana split with-”

Mike was getting tired of this charade, “The lights are back on!”

Nancy and Steve frowned at him as Dustin held up a hand to silence him, like he was a toddler, “Mike...I am ordering what my stomach desires. Please do not interrupt me.”

“At the lab, the lights are back on. Or at least, some of them.”

“Mike, what did I just say?!”

Nancy looked apprehensive, “Mike, are you sure you saw-”

“It wasn’t me, it was Lucas.”

“Besides the point-” His friend whispered next to him.

“-Banana split with maple syrup-”

“If they’re back, we need to do something.”

“-And one of those umbrella thingies.”

“We can’t wait for them to strike first.”

Steve held his hands up, “Alright, slow down Wheeler. What do you want us to do, roll up with a baseball bat and knock off the heads of some white coats? Killing a monster from another dimension is one thing, kid. People, even evil scientists...” He glanced around the room, “Well, that’s something else.”

Mike sighed, “No obviously, we’re not going to kill anyone. Just sneak in, have a look around-”

“Mike.” Nancy spoke, her voice worried, “We’re talking about sneaking into government property here. These people have shown they have no problem with using lethal force.”

“The place has been abandoned for months. They can’t have much security in place. Maybe that’s why they’re sticking to only certain parts of the building. We have to strike now, before they get any stronger.”

Nancy looked at him for a long moment before nodding.

“Meet me-”

“Meet us-” Steve added, “Can’t have my friends dying. Then I’ll have to make some that aren’t teenagers, and that would suck.

Nancy smiled, “Meet  _ us _ by Hopper’s old cabin at sundown. Got that?”

“Yeah.” The three boys said together.

_ Now we just have to figure out a way to get Max to be able to stand next to Lucas. Might as well let the whole Party into it,  _ Mike thought to himself,  _ Well, not the whole party. _

  
  


“You know, Mike? I think this is a good metaphor for your relationship.” Dustin said as they reached Hopper’s cabin.

“How is a busted-up cabin a good metaphor?”

Dustin placed his hand under his chin, perhaps to give him an aura of wisdom. It just made him look really silly.

“Well you see, this house was built on sturdy foundations. But even then it couldn’t be saved from the outside forces that brought it crashing down on the owner’s heads.”

“So my relationship is crashing down on my head?”

“No, Mike. Did you listen to anything I just said?” Dustin huffed, “It’s already crashed down on your head. Keep up, man.” He held his hands up in the air. “You keep making lying to her habit. How did El put it? You’re treating her like garbage.”

Mike just rolled his eyes. Did Dustin have a point? Maybe. But hell if he was going to admit it.

“Says the one who ignores his girlfriend for weeks.”

“Hey, that is  _ not  _ true. I couldn’t get thro-”

“Henderson, you’re here!” Steve came up from the road behind them.“Oh, I guess you’re here too, Wheeler. Great.”

“Where’s you sailor’s hat?” Mike asked him with a smirk.

“It’s, uh, at your mom’s house.” Steve retorted, “I forgot to bring it home with me this morning.”

“Are you saying you screwed my mom wearing that stupid outfit?”

“Hey, I didn’t say I was the one wearing it.”

“Are you guys done?” came Nancy’s voice. From absolutely no where.

“Uh, Mike? I think your sister’s mastered invisibility.” Dustin whispered to him, “Can she teach me?”

“Up here!”

Mike glanced up to the source of her voice, only to see her head sticking out between the branches of a particularly large tree.

“What-? How did you get up there?” He yelled, his voice carried up the bark by the wind.

“You guys took a lot of time!” She yelled back, “What? Grown-ups can climb trees too.”

“Not dignified ones,” Steve muttered. Dustin snorted at the comment.

Nancy yelled back down the tree.“I can see the perimeter fence from up here.”

She had begun her descent down and was almost halfway.

“And?” Mike asked.

“No one outside the fence. I couldn’t see inside though.”

Mike nodded and yelled,“So...that was completely pointless?”

“Pretty much.”

Mike clapped slowly, “Another heart punding adventure of Nancy D-”

“Don’t even say it, Mike. I will drop myself on you.”

Mike decided to shut up.

His sister landed back on solid ground.

“We all here?”

“We’re missing Lucas. He probably went to go talk to Max.”

Nancy shook her head, “Urg, teenagers.”

“You were literally a teenager less than a  _ year ago _ !”

“Thank god I’m not now. Anyway, we can’t wait for them. We need to move we still have the light.”

She started walking, obviously expecting him to follow her. Mike sighed and stepped into line behind her. Dustin and Steve were chatting away behind him.

“-So how’s that thing with Robin?” Dustin asked, winking.

A shadow seemed to fall over Steve’s face. He sighed, “It didn’t work out, okay?”

“Did you tell her how you feel?”

“Yeah, I did. Look could you-”

“When? I want to know everything.”

“Remember when we were in the bathroom in Starcourt. Yeah. Look it’s really not my story to tell.”

“What happened? Don’t leave me hanging, dude.”

Steve shifted, looking uncomfortable. “She just wasn’t interested, okay?”

“Wasn’t interested? No sane female would be able to resist the charms of Steve “Hair”ington.”

“Well, this one did, alright, so just drop it.”

Dustin seemed to get the message and shut up. Steve glanced at him and tried to change the subject of the conversation.

“So how are things between you and Suzie? You guys still doing the whole duet thing?”

“Haha, very funny.” Dustin gave an exasperated sigh.

“I...didn’t mean it as a joke, man. You were pretty good. Just...really bad timing.”

“Well, I didn’t have much choice.”

They arrived at the perimeter. Nancy pulled some wire cutters from a rucksack she’d brough with her, alongside a torch and some binoculars.

“Let’s go.” She began to cut the chain links.

“Hey, Nance, wait.” Steve spoke up.

“What?”

“I think that...me and Dustin should go, while you and Mike stay here.”

Nancy opened her mouth, incredulous. “What? No, we are not staying here.”

Dustin stepped into line next to Steve, “He’s right. They might recognise you if we’re caught. You were there before, right? And besides,” He nodded at Mike. “He’s a fast runner. He could get us some backup, if we need it.”

Nancy still looked appalled, “But...we can’t just sit here while you guys are out risking your lives!”

Dustin tossed her a walkie. “Keep lookout. Plus, Steve’s the one with the bat.”

“The bat  _ I made _ .”

“Whatever. This is the best plan.”

“You’re just saying that because it’s your plan.”

Mike interjected, “He’s right, Nancy. We should stay here.”

She turned her gaze to him. “Mike, you of all people should-”

“I don’t like it anymore than you do, but it’s the best thing to do.” He sighed and let himself fall onto a nearby tree stump.

Nancy’s soldier slumped but she stopped kicking up a fuss.

“ Now,” Mike said, addressing the both of them, “If you guys aren’t back here within an hour, we’re gonna assume you-

“Shit our pants and got caught, yeah, yeah. Hey look on the bright side.” Dustin said, a wide grin on his face, “We’re old pros at the whole breaking into top-secret military institutions thing.”

“C’mon, Henderson. Let’s make use of the light.”

They left through the hole cut through the fence.

Mike watched them go through the fence until they disappeared out of his sight. He sighed and leant against the tree trunk. Nancy had begun to pace around the clearing.

“Would you please stop that?” He asked her. She flinched like he’d awoken her from her thoughts.

“Sorry.” She interlocked her fingers, fidgeting with her hands now.

Mike sighed and looked the other way. He wondered what El was doing right now. Maybe she was waiting for him to respond on the walkie. Hopefully, she wasn’t too hung up that he couldn’t call her today. He’d make something up to explain his absence.

“Mike?” His sister asked him suddenly from the tree she leant against.

“Yeah?” He replied a little absentmindedly, absorbed in his thoughts.

“How are you dealing with all this?”

“What, with the scientists who experimented on my girlfriend for months?”

“No.” Nancy sighed, “The...long-distance thing.”

“Oh. Fine.”

“Fine? Really?”

Mike scratched his neck. “What do you want me to say?”

“Just…  _ talk to me _ , Mike.”

“Fine. It, uh...” He shrugged his shoulders. “It sucks.”

“Yeah. No shit.”

“Well, you and Jonathan have been seeing each other a lot more than me and El.”

“Still, uh,  _ sucks _ .”

Mike snickered.

“Are you and Ellie doing okay?”

“No one calls her Ellie. It’s just El.”

“People do…” She said, her nose scrunched up in concentration. “Uh…”

“I’m her boyfriend. I would know.”

“Jonathan does…”

“Not for long he won’t, living with her. She hates anything other than El.”

“Oh… I’ll keep that in mind for your marriage.”

“I don’t get why you joke about that when I can do the exact the same to you. It’s like me going up to you and saying;  _ Your Dad’s an asshole. _ ”

“Not entirely inaccurate…” They both chuckled at that.

“Here, try calling them, see if they pick up.”

Nancy drew the walkie from her back pocket.

“Steve? Are you there? Steve?”

She was met only with static.

And silence.

___________________________________

“Maybe no one’s home?” Steve sounded a little too hopeful.

“But Lucas is such a trustworthy source of information.” Dustin said, “There’s no way he and his girlfriend could possibly have devised this scheme to make us look stupid.”

Steve frowned, “Are you sure? Because-”

“Sarcasm, Steve. Sarcasm.”

“Oh right.”

They reached the main door to the facility. The paint was stipping off, likely from the weather. The wood looked frail and weak. They could break down the door if need be, but it would make a lot of noise.

“Well, there’s a padlock. I guess we came all this way for nothing.”

“No you idiot, it’s smashed in,” Dustin gave the door a slight push. It leaned inwards beneath his touch.

He waved his hand over his shoulder at Steve and stepped into the darkness.

“Hey, I’m the adult her-”

“Shut up and hurry.” Dustin practically hissed, his voice taken on a light whisper.

Steve did as he was told,

Water dripped from the cracks in the walls. The place looked like it had been hit by a hurricane, which Dustin found odd. It had been abandoned for over a year, but there was no way this much damage could have occurred naturally. Every door creaked as he opened it, the only disturbance to the silence other than their breath. He felt nervous. How many people had died on this very spot, only a couple of months ago? Maybe their spirits still possessed this place. They’d seen monsters, with face-mouths and tentacles. Ghosts didn’t seem too far fetched now, he said as a man of science.

He glanced back at Steve, only visible through the pale glow of moonlight through the windows of the place. His older friend’s eyes were darting around nervously and Dustin knew what he was thinking. Someone could easily be lying in wait for them in one of the shadowy doorways, and they wouldn’t even see them. But using the flashlight Nancy had given them wouldn’t be wise, especially with ghosts or worse about. Best to stay blind and be invisible. 

He stopped, his ears perking up as they picked up something. Humming, very quiet. The sort you wouldn’t notice unless you were in complete and utter silence. The hum of machinery. That meant power and if a place like this had power, then-

Lights flickered to life in front of them, revealing three armed guards pointing guns at them.

“Freeze!”

Both their hands shot up.

_____________________________

“Shit.” El pulled the piece of fabric away from her eyes.

“Where did you learn to swear?” Will asked, actually curious.

“Boyfriend, Mike, best friend, Max.” She deadpanned. 

“Dumb question.” He smiled. It looked good on him, maybe because she had seen him smile so little. He’d been through so much, arguably more than anyone. But he was still standing. They both were.

“Anything.”

She sighed, “No. Nothing at all.”

“I don’t know. You did that thing at the table, earlier.”

She glanced at him, “That was an accident.”

He nodded, “Maybe it’s psychological. Like there’s some mental block.”

“Maybe.”

They ate dinner, this time in comfortable silence. El was glad the awkwardness was behind them. All the cards had been laid on the table and now they could actually connect. They both weren’t very talkative, so these long stretches of silence were normal to them. Comforting, even.

Will fiddled with the cassette player for a moment, an unfamiliar song playing a bit too loudly. He winced and turned the dial quickly as the player boomed to life partway through a song.

“ _ -ere’s a Starman, waiting in the sky _ .” The player sang, “ _ He’d like to come and meet us, but he thinks he’d- _ ”

Will skipped ahead. “Sorry Bowie, not much of a dinner song.”

He turned to another song El actually had heard before. At the Snowball, when she’d been outside, hearing that half safety, half prep talk from Hopper. Just before she and Mike had their first real kiss.

“ _ Do we deserve a second chance? _ ” The voice sang from the player, clearly female now. “ _ How did we fall into this circumstance? We weren't so straight and narrow, this is much more than we deserve. _ “

“Look just...turn it off, Will,” Joyce said softly, her voice quiet and...emotional?

Will gave his mother a questioning look but did as she asked.

“Are you okay, Mom?”

Joyce didn’t answer, just placed an envelope down on the table without a word. She sat down and stared down at her feet, silent, with her face obscured in shadow.

“Mom? Are you alright?”

His mother looked up at him and Eleven could see she’d been crying.

She opened her mouth, managing a shaky, “Open it.”

El did as she was asked, carefully sliding her fingernails beneath the seal. Despite her best efforts, the paper tore leaving a mess ruin of the envelope. But she had ceased to care as she read the words on the document.

**_Certificate of Birth_ **

_ Jane Terry Hopper. _

_ Born November 13th, 1981 _

_Father: Jim Hopper._ _Mother: Terry Ives._

El’s eyes welled up with tears as she read the document. Her eyes read it, again and again, still unable to comprehend that it existed. That she, as of this moment, legally existed. She could go to school, she could get a job, get married, own property. Everything Hopper had told her she’d be able to do.

Inside the envelope was also a note.

_ As of now, you are Jane Hopper, or Byers if you so choose. I’m sorry that we couldn’t make this happen sooner. Certain people were keeping watch on us, but that’s all over now.  _

_ I was sorry to hear about Jim. He was a good man, the best. The world will never know his sacrifice, but it will keep on spinning because of Chief Jim Hopper, and his brave daughter. _

_ Don’t worry, I’ve arranged all the adoption details so that Joyce Byers is now your legal guardian. Good luck, Jane. _

_ Your “Uncle” Sam. _

El clutched the note to her chest, the tears falling in great rivers down her cheeks. She sniffled and attempted to cover her eyes with her sleeves, before she felt someone take her hand. Joyce looked straight at her, eyes damp, before pulling her into a tight hug.

“It’s gonna be okay,” Joyce whispered to her. 

El let herself believe that, clutching the woman tightly and sobbing into her shoulder.

“Hop, he…”His name made her burst into tears, the rivers falling faster. It felt as if all the worry, all the anxiety of the past few years, of being locked away in the cabin forever and never being allowed to be free was being drained out of her body through her tears.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Joyce murmured and begun to stroke her hair. She murmured more sweet nothings into her ear and held her close.

El cried until no more tears would come. Then she cried some more, dry sniffles that hurt her throat. Joyce didn’t release her hold on the girl, just kept murmuring to her and stroking her hair. It was over. It was all over, at last. No more scientists, no more monsters, no more fear. Maybe that’s why her powers had left her. She didn’t need them anymore, all was well. As well as it ever could be.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, here's a proper chapter only a day after the last. The character interactions in this chapter were a joy to write and I hope they turned out as well as I thought they did. Thanks for sticking with me this far. Peace.


	5. The Starman

**Chapter 5**

**The Starman**

“How are you feeling?” The voice in the strange rectangular device spoke to him. He had come to realise that it only appeared when a green light flashed above the device.

“I am...doing fine.” He managed, voice croaky and weak-sounding even to him. Words came slowly to him, through a veil of foggy memories he could barely navigate.

“That’s good. Very good. How’s the breathing? Is there any pain?” The voice was full of warmth, and he found himself wishing to tell it everything he could. What few things he could.

“A little.”

“Okay, well that’s to be expected. Try to take it easy. The pain is only temporary. Now, I believe proper introductions are in order. You may not remember me, but we have met. My name is Dr Sam Owens. I’m in charge of your rehabilitation.”

“Why...why am I here?”

“You, well...the entire world believes you to be dead. And for all intents in purposes, you were. But what we believed to be your demise, was in actuality, you being dragged into an interdimensional rift. Can you tell me about that? What was that like?”

“I-I don’t remember. I-I’m sorry.”

There was a pause before the voice resumed talking.

“That’s OK. I didn’t mean to overextend you. So you remember nothing of your old life?”

“No. Nothing.” That was the first lie he told. He remembered flashes, though they were indecipherable to his currently scrambled collection of memories and recollections of his life. Little images that didn’t tell him much, only brief snippets of feeling and emotion.

“Very well. I believe that’s enough for now. I’ll check back later to see if you’re condition has improved. For now, sit tight.”

The light winked red and the voice was silenced.

Time passed without any way to record it. Some men came in, wheeling in a large box-like device next to him. They carried large sticks as weapons, but he didn’t think of trying to escape. He had no way of knowing if there was something worse than this waiting for him beyond the doors of his prison.

The green light returned, bringing with it the kindly voice from earlier. 

“We’re going to provide you with some stimuli to help trigger any memory. Please, direct your attention to the device besides you.”

The box-like machine hummed as it sprung to life. On it was an image of a girl, with a shaved head.

“This girl...she was very important to you. She gave your life meaning, a purpose, something to strive towards. You were...her father, for lack of a better term to describe it. Do you remember her? Anything about her?”

“I-no.” That was no lie. Although the girl did look familiar, he could recall nothing regarding her.

He heard the man sigh, “That is deeply dishearting to hear. We had banked on her being a kind of trigger for your memories. We’ll have to re-assess our approach. For now, get some rest. Do you need or would you like anything before I go?”

“Something to disrupt the silence. It’s... “ He struggled to find the words. “Painful. No it’s…”

“I understand. We’ll play a little something for you, how does that sound?”

His voice cut off and a different sound begun to play from the rectangular object. It was someone speaking, but strangely. It was accompanied by an artificial sound, but still pleasant to the ears.

“ _ There’s a Starman, waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us, but he thinks he’d blow our minds.” _

He sat down on the floor, slowing his breathing to better hear. The noise worked at a rhythm and he wondered what the purpose of it was. Enjoyment, perhaps or maybe something for him to think about, a hint about the meaning of...all of this. Who was the man, this Starman? Was it the man who was speaking? Or was it referring to himself?

His mined dwelled over the words. The meaning of them felt familiar but far away, like he could not quite recall the memories associated with this information. When he thought of the sky, a blank canvas of blue and white crossed his mind. The thought crossed with another, an image of a dark blue void. Perhaps what Dr Owens had called “parallel dimensions”, like they were something similar to this place called “the sky”. Maybe it was referring that he’d been held in this place, this void, although whether the sky was the same as this dimension, he couldn’t say. Only that they were the closest to each other in his memories, deeply intertwined in his association of them. 

Whatever the case, he had been in that dark place and was now here, on the cusp of his old life. If he returned, his presence may affect whoever had remained after his “death. Perhaps he’d blow the minds of everyone important to him, including this… girl, by attempting to reclaim his old life. They had grieved for him, and perhaps moved on. It was best for them if he stayed here, for their sanity at the cost of his. Or maybe it was the opposite. They could still have hope in his survival, and were waiting for him. But then, what was the reason for those words being sent through the rectangular device?

He was this “Starman”. He could wait there for all eternity for them to be ready for him. Or he could seek o reclaim his life and return home to this girl. Whoever she was and whatever she meant to him.

________________________

Sam shook his head, “What am I going to do with this? This is like something out of a damn science fiction novel-”

“Sir, we found intruders. They were attempting to sneak in.” The helmeted soldier by the door said as he entered.

One of the guards brought in two boys. One looked to be only a mid-teenager, while one looked a few year older, nearly a grown adult.

Sam sighed, “Guys, come one. Let’s not keep assault rifles pointed in the face of teenagers, alright?” He turned to the intruders, “Are you boys okay? They weren’t too rough with you, I hope?”

The eldest opened his mouth to speak but the curly-haired one got there first, “Isn’t this the part you like, interrogate us or something? With...y’know, waterboarding and stuff?”

Sam turned to the guard beside them, “I’m here to put you back on schedule.”

The guard smiled, only just visible beneath his helmet, “But my men are working as hard as they can.”

Sam made a conscious effort to make his voice deeper, “Then perhaps I’ll find new ways to motivate them.”

The curly-haired boy’s eyes widened, “You...you just referenced-.”

Sam smiled at him, “I find your lack of faith disturbing. Even evil scientists that kidnap children and...torture puppies watch Star Wars, kid. Now have a seat.” He gestured towards some cheap plastic chairs at the back of the room. “And I’ll explain the dilemma you’ve put me in here.”

He realised his mistake when the boy suddenly looked nervous again. Perhaps that had come out a bit too cold-hearted villain-ish. Thankfully, the two of them sat down as he had asked.

“Alright. We know the stigma people have about this place and we promise, we’re not here long. Just a search and rescue mission we’re conducting. Now, we can’t have you ratting us out, because this is a delicate operation that requires… time. So I’m afraid we’re forced to-” He winced as the words came from his mouth. “Detain you, for the time being. We’ll provide you with somewhere comfortable to stay where we can keep an eye on you and when the operation is complete, you’ll be free to go.”

“Least you’re not bashing my teeth in.” The older one mumbled, “You got better bedside manners than the Russians, that’s for sure.”   
“I’m sorry? You’ve had contact with Russians?”

“Steve!” The younger one hissed.

“What? Might win us some clout, what country-loving American doesn’t hate Russians?” the boy called “Steve” said back.

“You too were present for the Starcourt incident?” Sam asked. How did they fit into all of this? It couldn’t be some coincidence that they were here now.

“More than present.” Steve smiled. “We were the ones who found the base beneath the mall.”

“So...you two are associates of Jim Hopper?”

“Associates is a big word-” Steve began.

“Wait.” The curly-haired one said suddenly. “Search and rescue. You guys are looking from him, aren’t you? The Chief?”

Sam sighed. He had been too careless with his words. “This operation is ongoing-”

“Subject STARMAN has breached his containment facility,” Came a voice from the intercom.

“Shit. How did he-” Sam shook his head, gesturing wildly at the guards in the room, “Never mind. Find him, we can’t let him escape.”

The boy’s face lit up, “Is that Ho-”

Sam stood up, addressing the soldiers, “Don’t let them leave.”

He hurried through the doorway.

__________________________________

He needed to find the girl. She was in trouble, he knew she was.

He staggered over to the door of the containment facility. There was a keypad on the side of it, with an input for a 4 digit code. A memory tugged at the back of his mind. He had been here before. There was a code for this door, one that he had known before. When he had been the person he was before. He had to remember if he was to find the girl and help her. Save her from herself.

The number came to him suddenly and he typed it in. They hadn’t changed it, which surprised him. He remembered them being very paranoid with their security. He had made sure they had. The security of the girl had depended on it.

Whilst sitting there in his cell, he had realised something. An old thought, a belief, had come back to him. He remembered a desire to find this girl, that she was in trouble and needed help. He didn’t know if that was still the case, but he had to try. 

The door opened and he staggered through it. He was wearing a plain beige hospital gown that clung tightly to his thin form. His body felt weak and malnourished, so progress was slow as he made his way across the winding paths and corridors of the facility. They twisted in a labyrinth of hallways that he only semi-remembered how to navigate. He encountered no one, save for a passing scientist who he avoided by hiding in a moldy broom closet. The structure felt  _ wrong _ . Images of pristine white walls flitted through his mind, that had fallen into disrepair and ruin. Now, rot blackened the walls and there was a foul stench wherever he went. 

Somehow, his feet guided him through it despite his head not having caught up. He found himself by an elevator and opted to take the stairs. They took him into a lobby and he wasted no time heading straight for the glass entryway. Just before he was about to leave, however, he caught sight of his reflection on the glass. His hair fell down to his shoulders and he had beard that obscured most of his face. If he was supposedly dead, it wouldn’t be wise to wander the streets where he would be recognised. But he had a feeling that wouldn’t be a problem. There was no way he had sported an appearance quite so ridiculous before.

He made it out into the fresh open air, his lungs practically screaming as they tasted the icy oxygen that was so far from the stuffed air of the lab. Roads stretched out towards a fence at the end of the premises and beyond that, miles of trees and forest.

A name came to him suddenly.

“Hawkins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates may be a little slower, as my laptop's getting fixed right now. Sorry this chapter is a little short, the next one is about 95% done and it's a long one, so buckle up. Thanks to everyone who commented on this fic, your kind words mean so much to me. Thank you to everyone who's stuck with this so far. Peace.


	6. Cracks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> El spirals out of control as news reaches her, while Lucas comes across a strange, yet familiar presence at Mirkwood.

El raised herself from Joyce’s shoulder and the two of them separated as the front door opened suddenly.

“Mom, I’m home!” Jonathan walked into the kitchen. “I’m ho-oh, hi.” He frowned when he saw them. “What’s going on?”

Joyce cleared her throat. “El has...gotten her birth certificate. And the adoption forms came back...already complete.”

Jonathan’s eyes widened. His hand splayed out across his hair, running through it. “That’s...that’s wonderful. Congratulations, oh...wow. I...I think we need to celebrate.”

Will nodded, “Yeah. We should. This is...big.”

El nodded and smiled, still not trusting her voice enough to speak.

“Let’s do something. Go out... sometime. I’ve found a magazine that needs a photographer, so we’re okay on the money front. I was thinking...maybe a carnival or something. What about the movies?”

“I don’t know, Jonathan. They’re a lot more expensive here in the city.”

“The money’s fine, Mom, okay. I start work tomorrow.”

Joyce sighed and nodded, “Alright then. Let’s do it.”

El looked at Jonathan when she spoke, “I- Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. Think of it as a welcome to the family. Officially.” He gave one of his rare smiles, not unlike his brother's. El began to feel that maybe she could actually belong here. In time.

  
  


“Why isn’t he answering?” She asked Will as she fiddled with the walkie on her bed. 

It was late, and the Sun had disappeared beneath the tips of the high-rise buildings.

“I...don’t know.” Her roommate shrugged his shoulders at her from his bed. The veil was drawn back now, so they could see each other.

She sighed and kept trying. Of all the times for him to disappear, it had to be the night when she had something important to tell him.

“I think…” Will spoke softly, hesitating for a moment. “I think...I’m okay with this. With you and Mike.”

She raised an eyebrow at him, an invitation to continue.

“I wanted to hate you. I tried… so hard. But I just couldn’t.” He stared down at his feet as they bumped against his bedside. “You were too nice, too welcoming. It was easy to see you as just  _ Mike’s girlfriend  _ before, when we weren’t, well, living together. But not now.” He looked up at her and gave her a heartwarming smile.

“I think I just personified you as the reason Mike didn’t like me back. I blamed you. But… that’s just who he is. Who you both are.”

She didn’t interrupt, just listened to what he said.

“I feel like I’ve been… disconnected from this world since...yeah. Mike, the Party, they’re all I’ve had for the last two years. I think I need to be more adventurous. Find someone who can like me the same way I like them.”

“Will…” El whispered, not really knowing what to say. She didn’t know how to approach this. He was being so honest with her, so open in a way he hadn’t before. She felt honoured that he’d decided to entrust this with her.

She moved to sit down next to him on his bed. Now there was no veil between them.

“I’m sorry.”

He frowned, “Sorry? What for.”

“The names. You said that your Dad…” She trailed off and looked up into his eyes, “I’m sorry. My father hurt me too. Made me feel like a monster.”

She put a hand on his shoulder. El felt him tense for a moment before relax beneath her palm.

“Things are desperate if all we have in common is how shitty are Dads were and all the holes they left us with.” He gave her a sad smile.

She nodded, . “Yeah. But...someone else filled the holes. Someone good.”

“Yeah...” He glanced at a picture he had on his desk. A man with brown-grey hair and pleasant features grinned up at the camera. His arm was wrapped around Joyce. “We choose our real family.”

“Yeah.” She slipped her hand into his, squeezing it tight and pocketed her walkie. She felt, for the first time since she’d moved here, that she didn’t need Mike to answer right away. She was content.

  
  


The telephone began to ring. El glanced at it from the couch as Jonathan went over and picked up.

“Hello?”

“Jonathan? It’s Nancy.”

The telephone was pretty cheap, so the entire room could hear the voice on the other side.

“They’re back.”

“Who? Who’s back?”

“Hawkins lab. Steve and Dustin went to investigate-”

The rest of her words were lost to El. All the air felt like it was sucked from her lungs. She gasped, from shock or for breath, she didn’t know.

“I...I need to use the bathroom. “She mumbled.

Will looked concerned, “Don’t-”

“Let her go, Will,” Joyce said but she was quiet, subdued. She might have been in shock herself.

Eleven didn’t remember the trip to the bathroom. Only that she had fallen to her knees on the tiled flooring and thrown up into the toilet.

“No, no, no, no, no…” Tears and vomit mingle in the toilet basin, “Can’t be happening.”

She collapsed against the tiles, her tear ducts recovered from earlier to release a floof of salty drops onto the floors.

“Please, no. Not this. Not this.”

She would never be happy. Why had she allowed herself to believe that? It was stupid, a world that had been so cruel and unkind to her would have no intention of doing her any favours now. It would hold that over her, just out of reach, until she gave up and was driven insane. Hope was a trick, a cruel lie that made the pain hurt all the worse. And she’d fallen for it. Every time, she'd fallen for it.

_ Look at you. So weak, _ Brenner’s voice said as he laughed. A shadow was cast on the tiles, though there was no one there to make it. A shadow in the shape of a man.

_ Weak, weak, weak. Cowering on the floor. Wretched girl, we spent all that money and resources on a weak little girl who freaks out from the mention of a name. Pathetic. I’d say you make me sick, but you’ve already done that to yourself. _

“Not weak.” She muttered. She spat the remaining vomit from her mouth and staggered to her knees. “Wrong.”

_ Oh yeah? _ ! his voice had gotten angry,  _ Well prove it then! You go back to Hawkins and you see if their’s any truth to this. And then, you rip them apart. _

“Can’t. Mike would...Mike would.” Her eyes widened, “He knew.”

_ He did. And he asked you to trust him. And what did he do with that trust? Squashed it under his boot, like a piece of gum. He lied to you. Even I, Eleven, never lied to you. Never deceived you. He doesn’t value you, doesn’t love you. Perhaps what he said in the cabin really was a mere slip of the tongue.  _

El stared at her reflection in the tiles.

_ You’ve gone awfully quite, Eleven. Nothing to say? Perhaps you have no intention of denying what's in front of you. Perhaps you believe me. _

“He-”

_ He treated you like garbage _ . Max’s voice rang through her head.

“He-”

_ That’s not true. Right El? El? _

“He promised.” Her voice came out as a broken sob.

_ Promise? _

_ It means something that you can’t break. Ever _

“HE PROMISED.” Her scream was drowned out as ever tile in the room splintered and cracked into tiny shards.   
  


She staggered to her feet. For a moment, her vision was blurry, until she suddenly realised it wasn’t her eyesight. The entire room had fallen into chaos, the bricks and mortar of the ceiling shifting and crumbling like an earthquake had hit the apartment. The floor shook under her feet, but she remained steady.

Her own reflection stared back at her from the mirror. She held her hand out and that splintered and cracked too, the shards spilling out on to the floor. A small part of her called out to stop this, end this madness. She ignored it and clenched her mental fist around the pieces of glass and tile still hovering in the air, breaking them into tinier specks of debris she was barely able to see, only feel through the reach of her power. She couldn’t see herself,  _ refused  _ to see herself. Not the foolish, naive girl who had believed in love and friendship and triumph over evil. There was only one way to defeat evil and that was to become a far greater evil yourself.

Splintered brick rained down on her, the ceiling unable to withstand the force radiating from her. They sliced small cuts into her skin, into her back, into her shoulder. She ignored all of it, feeling drunk on the power running through her body. She felt consumed by the feeling and embraced it gladly. She felt the anger, the hate and fed on it, adding it as fuel to the burning sensation that had spread across her body. The bathroom had become nothing but a crumbling mess, the walls barely standing.

Then, as soon as it appeared, the power deserted her and she fell to her knees. She lost her confidence, and the frightened girl returned. Blackness crept into the edge of her vision, bringing with it a wave of exhaustion that began to shut down her limbs, one by one. Before the darkness overwhelmed her, a memory came to her.

_ The walls of the closet closed in around her. She was back in the lab, back in the tank. _

_ Back with him. _

_ She tried not to scream. Mike had asked her not to, told her that’d she’d get into trouble. Her eyes closed but that only made it worse. She was back in the bath, unable to feel anything. She was their weapon, nothing more than that. Their dirty little secret. _

_ She opened her eyes and the closet doors were still closed. Her knees buckled and she fell to the ground, hiding behind her legs as the tears came. Why had he done this to her? Hid her away in the closet like she was his… dirty little secret. She thought he’d be able to help her, keep her away from the bad men. But what if he was just like them. What if he was lying to her just to use her? For the curse stuck inside her head that she did not want. Was that all she was? Was that all she could be? _

_ “Eleven? Are you okay?” _

_ The doors opened suddenly and Mike was there. _

_ “Are you okay?” _

_ She nodded slowly. Maybe she deserved this. She was just like them, one of the bad men. She was a liar. _

_ “Are you sure?” _

_ “Promise.” _

The memory faded as she realised she was lying there on what was left of the tiles. Her limbs felt tired and heavy but she rose to her feet, slowly. Her head felt like something was attempting to bust out of it with a chisel. She clung to the wall for support, her hand coming away scratched and bleeding.

“El!” Joyce sounded scared. Fearful. Of her. “Are...are you in there?”

She glanced around the room. It was destroyed, utterly and completely in ruin. If someone had been nearby, she could’ve killed them. She was a monster, she needed to be contained. The lab had been right to contain her, she was a threat-

_ That’s not why we kept you Eleven, and you know it. _

“Stop calling me that!” She roared at Brenner’s voice. It seemed to be coming from all around her. Echoing around the smashed and broken tiles, forever haunting her.

_ We enjoyed making you miserable. Enjoyed watching you and your sister suffer. _

His image appeared in the shattered remnants of the mirror, moving in and out of the small shards.

“I hate you! You ruined my life!” She yelled, trying to follow his path across the wreckage as he darted between surfaces of tile and glass.

_ I made you what you are.  _ He smiled at her through the glass _ , “You belonged with us. Not with those foolish people you call “friends”. They don’t care about you. They fear you. You are the catalyst that turned their lives into a living horror story. You don’t have a terrible wound, Eleven. You are a terrible wound, on them. You’ve festered and you’ve grown...and you’re killing them. _

“No, that’s not true, Papa” She shook her head violently, “Not true!

_ Isn’t it? The monster was after you. If not for you, maybe Billy would still be alive. _

_ “No!”  _ She pressed her hands to his ears, trying to block out the sound that was not heard. 

_ Maybe Hopper would still be alive. Maybe he’d be on a date with Joyce, right now. _

“Not true. No!” But tears had begun to run from her eyes again. Her fists clenched but she couldn’t fight the truth. 

_ Your friends pretend not to blame you. That it’s not your fault. But deep down, they know. Why do you think Mike has been so distant with you? _

_ “No!”  _ Her words descended into screams as she clamped her hands over her ears.

_ It’s all a big lie, Eleven. One you tell yourself. That you belong here, with them. But a monster like you belongs only in a cage. Where you can’t hurt anyone else _

“You-” He was right. She was a danger to everyone. The root cause of all of this.

_ You belonged our dirty little secret, Jane.” _

“You’re wrong, -you…” She stopped. What had he called her?

Jane.  _ Jane.  _ He had called her Jane.

“You’re...not him.” She shook her head, “You’re not real. In my head.”

“Wrong. I am a part of you, Eleven, I always will be-”

“No. You were put there.” She snarled, her teeth gritted so hard that they ached. She used the pain to fuel the fire of anger deep within her. “Put there by my sister. To make me angry and go on a killing spree.”

“Eleven-”

“No more. I won’t let you control me anymore. You’re dead. Gone”

“I am a part of-”

“No. I’m not your dirty little secret anymore!” She yelled, “I have a name now. I’m Jane Terry Hopper and I deserve to live! Not for you, not to live in a cage, but for me! For me!” She fell to her knees, all the energy sucked out of her. “I deserve to live for me…”

She slumped against the wall, the pain of theshards cutting into her shoulder numbed by the blackness dancing into the center of her vision. Voices came from outside.

“What do we do?” came a voice. Will’s.

“Get out of here, Will. She’s dangerous, she-”

They were frightened of her. She needed to leave, before she could cause any more damage. And before someone got hurt.

El managed to get to her feet, limbs feeling like they’d been lined with some invisible lead. A splitting headache penetrated through the deep blackness that made every thought sluggish and every part of her scream for rest. She licked her upper lip and tasted blood streaming from her nose. Her feet managed one step, then another. The shattered remains of the window lay just ahead and beyond that, the fire escape.

She managed through the window. The night sky had opened into rain. It dripped down her face, seeping into cuts on her cheeks from the glass. She kept moving, the cold rain only making the blackness creep closer to the center of her vision. El couldn’t go on for much longer. Her hands grasped the ladder weakly, the rain making it slippy and hard to hold.

One rung, then another, then another. She slipped and fell the rest of the way, landing on some unknown softness. The blackness threatened to consume her, but something made her get back up. The rain mingled with her hair, making it fall in loose, wet locks around her face. She couldn’t see, only feel the faint footsteps in her feet. A step, then another, the rain began to seep down her neck, another step, her arms were damp and shivery, another step, her damp shirt clung to her back.

Another step.

She fell into a puddle, the splash feeling almost warm against her cheeks. She didn’t rise again, couldn’t rise again. Perhaps she would die here, frozen to death on a rain night. No more pain, no more grief, no more monster. No more Eleven.

“Eleven.” She whispered. Puddles splashed around her. She had believed she could be more than Eleven. She believed she could just be El or maybe even Jane. But she could never escape Eleven. The name was as much a part of her as the number tattooed into her skin.

The puddles splashed again, frantically. What could be disrupting the water?

She raised her head from the water, eyes squinted to prevent it from running into her eyes. Boots, black and leathery splashed through the puddles. She felt hands underneath her and she was lifted up.

The last thing she saw was red hair peaking beneath a hood before the darkness engulfed her.

____________________________

It was wet and raining and there was still no sign of her. This wasn’t good.

Max had been missing for well over a day. He’d checked with Mrs Mayfield, and although she’d been a little guarded about a random stranger asking about her only daughter, she’d told him she’d been staying with a girl-friend. It didn’t add up, Max didn’t have any friends.

“Damn it, where are you?” Lucas muttered to himself as he rode around on his bike. He had passed her house three times now, hoping maybe to catch her coming or going. No such luck. Instead, all he’d gotten was a backache from being held up in his saddle.

Why was she avoiding him? Sure, he might have pissed her off but it’s not like that wasn’t a norm for them. Lucas had always thought she’d enjoyed being given an excuse to slap him, but maybe her irritation had been legitimate. Not even an optimistic man, of which he was not, would say their relationship had gone on without a hitch. Cracks had shown themselves only a couple of days in and sometimes Lucas felt like they were on break more than they were actually together.

Why would she go missing at a time like this? He hated to be away from all the action, but she came first. What if something happened to her? Hawkins was the land of disappearances, after all.

He stopped as the trees in front of him began to rustle. Lucas got off his bike, squinting to try and find bright red locks amidst the treeline.

“Max?” He yelled, “This isn’t funny. I swear-”

A twig snapped as the branches buckled outwards in front of him. Someone, who was definitely not Max, stepped out from the trees. He had a dishevelled beard of silver hair, with an equally messy beard that was a darker grey.

“I-” Lucas gulped, “Sorry. Thought you were someone else.”

The man didn’t speak, he just stared at Lucas for a long moment.

“Do I know you?” He asked, a little unnerved by the staring.

The man shook his head. “No. C-can...can you help me?”

Lucas was suddenly reminded of El, when they’d first hid in Mike’s bedroom. He felt the same apprehension to this stranger now as he did then.

“Sorry, I’m, uh, looking for my friend.”

“Who are they?” He eyes looked a little uncomfortably eager. “Your friend?”

“Uh, a girl.” Lucas didn’t know what compelled him to respond. A chilling feeling had settled on him, one that felt familiar. “Have you seen her around?”

“No.”

Lucas nodded and continued on past the man down the road.

“Boy.”

Lucas turned slowly.

His blood ran cold as he suddenly recognized the man, whose voice had lost its confusion and had turned to icy steel.

“Tell me...where is Eleven?”

_____________

El awoke wrapped in a blanket. It felt soft against her skin but also hot, unnaturally so, and stuffy, like she was wrapped in several dozen layers of heavy raincoats next to a fireplace.

Her eyelids attempted to filter the high concentration of light piercing through the layer of skin. It hurt and with the pain she realised that every other part of her hurt. Her palms stung and felt stiff, like something had been wrapped around them and constricted their movement. A splitting headache ringed around her skull, reminding her of the morning after the time Mike had convinced her to drink with him. But unlike then, she had regrets of the night before.

What had she done? People could be hurt, and it would be all her fault. At the very least, Joyce would have bills to pay for the complete and utter annihilation of the apartment’s bathroom.

El tried to sit up. The world tilted and her hands splayed out to grab the table next to the sofa she’d been placed on. Her breathing was heavy as she opened her eyes. Her hands were a stoic white, until El realised they’d been wrapped in bandages. She swung her legs around to put them to the floor and another wave of dizziness threatened to overwhelm her.

“Whoa, be careful.”

An arm looped around her neck to steady her.

“Here, sit back down.”

Max’s voice was uncharacteristically tender as she guided El back onto the sofa. A pillow was propped up beneath her.

“What happened? I found you half-dead on the street. I would have called help but-” She tilted her head in El’s direction, “The gaping hole in the building would be hard to explain.”

El had a multitude of questions and didn’t know how to voice any of them.

“How-?” she spluttered.

Max seemed to get what she was trying to say, “How’d I find you? I was going to come see you. Things have gotten a little hectic in Hawkins and I had to get away.”

El waited to see what would she say.

Max hesitated, “There’s no easy way for me to say this. Something’s going on at the lab-eek”

The redhead squeaked as El hugged her suddenly. She buried her face into her friend’s shoulder.

“Thank you.” She murmured.

“For what?” Max’s voice sounded a little high pitched.

“Telling the truth.”

“Telling the tr-? You mean you knew?” She pulled away, “You were...you were waiting to see if I’d lie to you.”

El nodded, staring down at the floor. “I don’t know who to trust anymore.”

“Hey.” Max said, putting her hand on her shoulder. El glanced up at her, “It’s not your fault. They-well, Mike- are just trying to protect you.”

“Protect me from what?” she spat. “I’m-”

“Yeah, you got superpowers. That’s what they’re protecting you from. Yourself.” Max grasped her shoulder a little tighter, “You destroyed that apartment block. I’m glad you’re powers are back, but-

El sighed, “They’re not.”

Max blanched at her, “What? But you-”

“I didn’t mean to. I can’t control them.” she pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them, “Will said it might be ps-psycho-”

“Psychological,” Max corrected, “It’s possible, I mean...after everything you’ve been through.”

“I feel...afraid when it happens,” El said, pulling her knees closer around her chest.

“Afraid? That you might hurt someone?”

“Sometimes. But not just that.” She stared out of the window at the city skyline. “I can’t go the dark place.” She shook her head, “Because...if I go, I’ll k-know.”

“Know what?”

“I-if he… if he’s d-dead.” El began to sniffle, “Hopper. He could have...could have survived.”

Max’s face softened, “El, that’s not healthy, he died-”

“No body. Maybe he-”

“Stop it, El. Don’t torture yourself like this.”

“But-” El opened her mouth.

“Don’t. He’s gone El. He’s gone. And he’s not coming back. Please, you’ll go insane if you keep doing that to yourself.”

“I-” Tears had begun to run down her face, “He can’t be gone. He’s Hop. He c-can’t-”

Max wrapped her arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. El put up no resistance, just buried herself into her shoulder again.

“Shhh.” Max whispered. This seemed to come naturally to her, much like it had Joyce.

It felt like all she’d done recently was cry. She hated it, it made her feel emotional and vulnerable and Her limbs ached and her body longed for sleep, to put these horrible few hours behind her. At least in sleep, she couldn’t see him in everything. At every mealtime, every Jim Croce song on the radio...every door that was left ajar.

“Where are we?” She choked, voice still shaky and thick with grief. The apartment was modest, more on the expensive side. El doubted Max could afford it on her own.

“It’s...it  _ was _ , Billy’s. He used to take girls here, or the  _ special ones _ , as he called them. He was..such a jerk. Damn it.” Max began to rub furiously at her eyes.

El stared at her, “This is the place...happy screams?”

Max recoiled, “Jesus, El. That's not...yes, happy screams. Please, just ask Mike about them, okay?”

“Okay.”

Max glanced away from her and silence filled the air until a voice from her pocket broke the quiet. Will's voice.

“Hello? El?"

She pulled out her walkie from her pocket and held it up to her ear.

“Will?”

“El? Where are you? Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m-” She hesitated, “Where are you right now?”

“Outside. Looking for you.”

“Joyce. Where is she?”

“I left to go look for you. I knew you’d want to go help the others.”

El glanced at Max, who nodded her permission.

“I’m with Max.”

“Oh… really? Where?”

“We’re…”

“We’re going back to Hawkins.” Max interrupted, speaking into the walkie over El's shoulder.

Despite the circumstances, El smiled at the prospect. She was going home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally got my computer back. Sorry for the particularly long wait, but I got this out in the end. I usually tend to have one chapter in the pipeline while I work on another, but things got in the way so I have to start from scratch now. Thanks for sticking with this fic, and see you next time.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks very much for reading this fic o' mine. I'll hopefully get the next chapter up soon. Peace.


End file.
